Friday, August 04, 2006

So how hot IS it in Oklahoma?

courtesy of friend Janet Hook

Note: If you are not a resident of OKLAHOMA or never have lived in the hot, humid South, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!
-Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
-Please keep it cool in mid-July.
-Bless the walls where termites dine,
-While ants and roaches march in time.
-Bless our yard where spiders pass
-Fire ant castles in the grass
-Bless the garage, a home to please
-Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
-Bless the love bugs, two by two,
-The gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
-Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
-in OKLAHOMA, LORD you've put them all!!
-But this is home, and here we'll stay,
-So thank you Lord, for insect spray.
HOLD IT.............there's more.........
-The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out
of the ground.
-The trees are whistling for the dogs.
-The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
-Hot water now comes out of both taps.
-You can make sun tea instantly.
-You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
-The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
-You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
-You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
-You actually burn your hand opening the car door. -You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
-Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?
-You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
-The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
-Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
-The cows are giving evaporated milk.
-Ah, what a place to call home.
-God Bless Our State of OKLAHOMA!!



At 9:03 PM, Blogger Merry said...

That branding iron seat belt thing...sigh. BTDT.

And my kid had a phobia about riding her bike in the street because the tar was soft and it was poisonous and she thought she'd die if she fell off the bike and her tongue fell out of her mouth and touched the tar...

At 9:09 PM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

and she thought she'd die if she fell off the bike and her tongue fell out of her mouth and touched the tar...

Don't want to laugh, but that IS funny! Bless her lil heart!

At 8:45 AM, Blogger Merry said...

Oh, that was only half of it. Here's how the whole question went, asked in a one-sentence, breathless tone:

"Mom, if I'm riding on my bike or rollerblades and I fall down and my helmut comes off and my face hits the road and the tar on the road is poisonous and my teeth bite my tongue and my tongue falls out of my mouth and the part that's cut by my teeth is touching the road...(long pause to take in air)...will I die?"


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