No, this is not an image from Katrina. This is simply a metaphor for me at present, a creature feeling like they don't belong where they are, wondering how they got there and asking whether or not they've learned anything from the view.
I recently sold to another publisher - not leaving the 1st - just expanding, and the thought terrifies almost as much as it excites. What if I stretch myself too thin? I am not so much a creature of habit as one of curiosity. Maybe I should have found a cat instead of dog to help illusrate this particular feeling of 'WTF?'...
When we get what we want yet are perplexed on how to deal with the situation, does that mean that we shouldn't be there, that we weren't prepared/ready, that we can't handle it?
Or is it simply indicative of the natural OMG instinct that hits us when change occurs?
Changes piss me off to an extent. I don't like quick ones, for certain. If it's like Speedy Gonzales sex (work with me - I'm thinking of a mind f***) - you know..."it won't hurt, did it?" - I wig out. If it's "c'mon, you'll like it, and if you don't then you can leave"...I'm more comfortable. Still unnerves me no end that things aren't as they were the day before. You'd never know it from my house, my life, my emotions, but I truly enjoy dependability, the feeling that I can relax into something and stretch, flex, work those muscles without fear of someone stepping on me. If I were a cat, I'd stay the hell away from rocking chairs...or would I?
Experience is the great equalizer. It teaches us what we like and what we don't like. It gives us choices for the future. Those who don't take risks have fewer choices because they don't have anything with which to compare.
Okay, what's really bugging me is that this same publisher who wants me recently rejected a dear friend, and not only did they reject her...they were vicious about it, pretty much telling her that there were no redeeming qualities in what she'd submitted. She would be the first to tell me: Take The Deal. I still feel like crap about it and disagree with their letter to her.
With that in mind, I'll sign the contract, commit myself (figuratively speaking - be nice here), and take another chance that my past experiences are paying off and that I've surrounded myself with only the best and most supportive people in my life.
A good friend once told me to mind my P's in publishing - if I wanted to sell, I had to have persistence, patience, and postage. Now it seems I'm about to work on another set of P's for those who have already published--I need perspective. Do I really want to follow the path I've chosen? What are my expectations...and do they really matter? Where do I want to focus my energies, and can I live with the consequences?
The second P that comes to mind is Piss On The Consequences. Trust your instincts, trust your friends that they will survive and move on to get published by someone else. (Her publisher, by the way rejected ME at one time. In fact, I'm sure that everybody's publisher has rejected me - lol.)
If anyone knows the third P, since I'm convinced platitudes travel in thirds, let me know.
--P.S. - the friend I mentioned did indeed tell me to Go For It with her blessings. I wanna be just like her when I grow up--ego intact, totally supportive, and with gumption to resubmit ASAP when something doesn't turn in my favor.