Fact Or Fiction?
Cece reminded me of a favorite character on CSI being on tv last night, and I blew it and didn't get to watch, but something in her email triggered a blog post. I started to call this one "Buying Our Own Bullshit" but thought better of it. I've requested permission to use a great cartoon next, but I'm still waiting on a response (just sent it). You can view their selection at http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/d/dominatrix.asp - it's #1, "The Bitch's Grill".How do you feel about writers who claim that their writing is autobiographical in many ways? I have no problem with an author having a vast knowledge of any topic. In fact, it lends credibility to much of their writing, say if a medical drama is written by a former (or current) medical professional or if an attorney pens a legal thriller, that sort of thing. So why do I have such difficulty suspending my disbelief when a writer I've met claims she's a Dominatrix and that this is a lifestyle?
I don't always--trust me. But there are times when I look at someone and just wanna call bullshit. If they live with umpteen kids and grandkids under the same roof, if they never wear anything other than jeans or sweats in family photos, and their boobs or guts hang down to their knees, I just have a really difficult time in believing that they don leather thongs and hip boots, crack whips, and put nipple clamps on one another on a daily basis. Especially if they've had photos of their homes (as in apartments) out for view. I've lived in an apartment--we didn't have room for an extra closet, much less a dungeon.
And the image they're wanting me to buy gets distorted when I imagine one of the kids interupting at the optimum moment, which kids are apt to do. What do the Domme & submissive do?
"Hold that position, honey, sounds like Susie is throwing up--I'll be right back."
"But I can't breathe--at least take off my mask."
"Here's a straw--stick it in your left nostril while I get her a wash cloth and let the cat outside."
And can you imagine laundry day?
"Mo-o-o-m! Daddy's dog collar wound up in my sock drawer, and the spikes snagged my cashmere leg warmers."
Maybe what really bugs me is that it bugs me at all. I mean it's none of my business if they paint one another blue and one of them is in gravity boots when they do the deed. Many actors have facades while others are comfortable saying "It's a movie, people...get over it...I'm not really like this. It's a character I'm portraying." Maybe that's what I wish writers would do...get honest about themselves and their writing. If they write fiction, who gives a damn? I could care less if a housewife from Jersey pens porn or if someone living in an 8' X 8' RV in Tuscon writes about Hollywood moguls or Washington dignitaries as long as they can pull it off. My concern is with their writing, not their personal lifestyle. If their fiction isn't strong enough to be convincing, I just don't see the point in their professing that they know what they're doing because what they write is what they do. That's no different to me than if they prefaced all their work with a disclaimer in front of every book: Please, read me, because I really know what I'm talking about. Yeah? If so, why the need to explain?
Or am I being naive here? To me, it's rather nice to see actress Melinda Clarke as herself - I can buy it that she's not Lady Heather of CSI, that her nickname is Mindy, and that she has a life outside her work. Her work is more credible to me because she doesn't pretend she's a dominatrix 24/7 just so I can feel like I'm in a crime scene drama for one hour.
If you'd like to read up on a real dominatrix, take a peek at a website for Mistress Scarlet. Just don't confuse her with me simply because I've written a BDSM book. I'm sure she has better things to do than grouch about pretenders and debate the politics of honesty. *wink*
posted by Bobbie (Sunny) Cole @ 11:26 AM
9 comments
9 Comments:
I guess my biggest worry in writing about a D/s relationship -- not to be confused with a professional dominatrix -- is that I'll get it wrong DESPITe all the research, which probably isn't a bad thing since it means I'm that much more conscious of what I'm writing.
Did you like that recap? LOL It was pretty squirley.....
I can't imagine pretending to be something I'm not. Do I write about things I don't practice? Oh yeah. But I'd be upfront about it. Hopefully well researched.
I'm too much of a private person for that and besides, I don't want anybody coming at me later on claiming I'm writing about them.
Tanya
On some level I think all of my characters are acting out MY fantasies. No they're not me, but in many instances I wish they were.
My characters inevitably have the perfect comeback (something I usually think of hours later). There have been occasions while writing where I've thought to myself, "okay, what would I do in that situation .No. Scratch that. What would I want to do" and away I go.
But to get back on point, sadly no. Tis all fiction. That's enough exposure for me. On my Blog, there's a certain amount of my personality/life I'm willing to share, but there are also aspects I keep very very private, or speak of in the most general terms.
Any similarities between my characters and persons living or dead are purely coincidental. (or is that is purely coincidental?).
btw, Hi doll. Miss you.
X
Now that was a tease, Lyn. I visited Mistress Scarlet, and her gallery is down. Bummer!
As to the D/S thing, do you think my wife would condone research for a book? Hmm.
LOLOL! Spikes in the leg warmer. Too funny.
Loved the part where Mistress Scarlet addresses her feminist activism. Interesting. I also have trouble imagining BDSM relationships in real life. Sounds too much like sit-com material to me. :-D
I think most writers draw on autobiographical data to a degree when creating characters or storylines, but it’s just little blips here and there. For instance, my heroines never wear single-digit sized clothing and often find themselves involved in funny mishaps. This clearly comes from personal experience. As to the hot graphic ménage sex stuff? Definitely NOT autobiographical. No, no, no, no, no. LOL
Part of the fun of being a writer is being able to pretend. To freely make use of creativity and imagination. It’s like when I was a kid playing with dolls and inventing all these wild scenarios to put my poor dolls through (and, no, ménage wasn’t one of them--LOL). It was usually stuff I hadn’t done and, most likely, never would do, but that’s what made it so enjoyable.
Big congrats on your new book contracts, Lyn! Sounds like you’ve definitely been keeping yourself busy at the keyboard. La Bella Luna sounds absolutely wonderful. I look forward to reading it.
*Grin* I liked Lady Heather on CSI!
And, I agree. I have four children…I really am clueless as to how real D/s relationships cope with kids. Honestly children have interrupted us at just the wrong time on countless occasions. I think children would really put a crimp into a D/s relationship.
*Blush* though I know from research Master Nage covers the subject in his Complete guide.
http://www.masternage.com/ From reading his and a few other pieces of research material it’s a way of life for the couple and children.
As far as writer’s pretending to be what they are not? I guess it’s whatever makes them happy and gets them through the day. So yes, I’m sure there are pretenders out there.
*Gasp* Yes, Douglas! Ask, or tease your wife into a night of play. You'll both remember it.
Mel
I hit send too quickly. D/s is supposed to be about more than kink games. I guess the sub simply wants to make the D happy and meet all their needs.
But, I can’t see anyone being comfortable enough to call someone Master in front of their children, you know? Even if the children were old enough to understand, subconsciously, that would be influencing them about a certain way of life.
Mel
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