Friday, August 04, 2006

Celebrations & Funnies

Happy 30th Birthday, Joshua
Happy Birthday Merry
Congratulations, Dee


The perfect Wal-Mart Greeter
(courtesy of Alex's poster, Sue Seeley)


A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman comes barreling into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart .... Nice children you've got there - are they twins?"

The nasty woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?........ Do you really think they look alike?"

"No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"
* * *
SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
~ from M.E. Cooper
A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, "If dogs have babydogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"
The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
The little boy admitted that she did.
"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain that to you."

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6 Comments:

At 8:59 PM, Blogger Merry said...

Thanks for the birthday wishes!

Love the jokes.

 
At 4:44 AM, Blogger Sam said...

I flew Southwest this summer, and the flight attendants were very nice - and funny. One gal gave the funniest pre-flight speech I've Ever heard - the passengers all gave her a round of applause.

 
At 10:15 PM, Blogger Melany said...

LOL oh those jokes are great. Thanks for sharing.

Lany aka Mechele Armstrong

 
At 9:28 PM, Blogger Shesawriter said...

ROFLOL! Funny!

 
At 6:27 AM, Blogger Tess Harrison said...

Hey Lynn! How are things going? Hope you have a great week.

 
At 1:15 PM, Blogger Rinda Elliott said...

My bloglines is not giving me updates to my favorite blogs. Like yours!

Tell Josh HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

 

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