Saturday, January 24, 2009

Write Like It's Your Last Chance?

Had a writers' meeting today.
* * *
When I first met Gretchen, I loved hanging out with her, just never figured I'd be joining any writers' group shortly afterwards. Have to say that the MARA group she introduced me to has helped me in sooo many ways.
* * *
President Carla Cassidy asked some tough questions of us today. They started off mildly enough (is your writing a career or a hobby, et al) then escalated as she went around the room. By the time it was my turn, most of what I thought the tough ones had been asked. Not so. My question was: What do you intend to do differently this year?
* * *
My response (and consider what I've been going through, with the friend who tried to commit suicide) was: I won't go into the specifics, but I intend to write as if this year is my last.
* * *
Okay. Not bright. Everyone then figured I was dying or that I'd just received bad news. So after a couple of pats on the back, atta-girls, and sympathy nods, I stood and asked if I might clarify something. I wasn't talking about ME necessarily.
* * *
Or was I?
* * *
It got me thinking. I pretty much wasted my "writing time" in 2008. Don't get me wrong. I think I needed the break. I certainly needed the down time from other crap that was going on. But...whatEVER the reason(s) for my not writing, right now I'm feeling the guilt, the pinch (lack of $$ because I have nothing coming OUT), and the frustration of having unborn stories growing within my pea-sized brain. Birthing an idea is akin in many ways to birthing a baby. You still get the friggin' food cravings one minute and want to upchuck the next, you feel fat because your butt is in a chair instead of out walking/exercising, and you ask yourself, God, The Universe when the hell that baby will ever be born.
* * *
So what am I going to do? HellifIknow.
* * *
No, really. I refuse to call them goals this year. I refuse to even call them plans. You can call them what you will, but I know me...I have to call them intentions (for lack of a better word right now). Not ideas, and not "if everything works to my advantage" intentions, but determined "I'm gonna do this and this and this" type of intentions.
* * *
I guess I've f****ing had it with good intentions and want strong ones or something. I've had it with babying myself, coddling my insecurities and putting salve salad verbiage on my wounds. Writing will NEVER come first with me - I'll get that out there right now. It may come second or third or fourth at any given time, but it will never ever take precedence over family - or even friends, should they need me (as in gotta have you here right this minute). But...it will be a greater priority in 2009 than it was in 2008.
* * *
I wore my "Smut...the new black" tee shirt that Cece gave me several months ago (is it really going on two years?????) to the meeting, drew a few chuckles. But my intentions aren't to write smut per se. Nothing wrong with it. Smut has been good to me (oh, bite me). But there are other things I want to write this year besides sex.
* * *
Oh, I intend to write sex...I just want to write a few more laughs and a lot more suspense without the erotic base. I want to concentrate on brainy parts, not just body parts (which will be the biggest challenge - lol).
* * *
Handyman Dave fixed the leak in the bathtub; #1 Son bought me a frappuccino; daughter-in-law made me 2 pair of French hook earrings (she's learning how to make jewelry, thanks to her Auntie Lex and cousin Kelly in Australia - they've created a monster); and I have good ideas under my belt and terrific friends to give me a hug or kick my butt, depending upon the occasion and necessity. Not a bad way to walk into a Sunday.
* * *
Have a good week, everybody.

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6 Comments:

At 4:32 PM, Blogger Sandy said...

Hi Lyn,

I went through that coddling kick a few years ago, so I have a general idea what you mean. You have the right idea though to get passed it.

Sorry about your friend, but sometimes they need a swift kick, too, just to get past their pity trip. And some hugs and help from a professional once in a while.

Hugs,
Sandy

 
At 10:00 PM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

thanks, sandy!

friend is doing much better - and I'm actually WRITING this month.

*thud*

 
At 10:27 AM, Blogger Bronwyn Green said...

Hey Lyn,

I'm just stopping by to say hi. I really like the idea of writing like it's your last chance. I think that's just the inspiration I needed. Thanks sweetie!!!

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger Misty Wright said...

Hey Lyn!

I'm with you on this one. I have done the same thing in the past due to all the things going on in my life at the time. The thing is we don't have to do this just in our writing. It's our lives as well.

We are over worked and over stressed. Everything seems to get to us in some shape, form or fashion. I'm guilty of this and I'm wanting to stop the cycle. It's time to let the crap go and have fun. :)

Head up, I know you can do this!

 
At 8:07 PM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

hi, bron and misty!!! (misty, I still have an email from you that I've been meaning to reply to - lol - it's the oldest one in my stash, so you're next once I pull my head out)...

I'm trying to treat 2009 like it's not a terminal velocity problem - I don't have to barrel through like I'm speeding through space. I just want to keep focused, set a good pace, and stick with it.

we shall see, huh?

thanks for stopping by!!!!!!!

 
At 11:51 AM, Blogger Misty Wright said...

We'll talk soon! Will be looking for your email. :)

 

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