Lyn's Licks & Laughs...with alter egos Bobbie Cole & Sunny

Write Like It's Your Last Chance?

Had a writers' meeting today.
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When I first met Gretchen, I loved hanging out with her, just never figured I'd be joining any writers' group shortly afterwards. Have to say that the MARA group she introduced me to has helped me in sooo many ways.
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President Carla Cassidy asked some tough questions of us today. They started off mildly enough (is your writing a career or a hobby, et al) then escalated as she went around the room. By the time it was my turn, most of what I thought the tough ones had been asked. Not so. My question was: What do you intend to do differently this year?
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My response (and consider what I've been going through, with the friend who tried to commit suicide) was: I won't go into the specifics, but I intend to write as if this year is my last.
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Okay. Not bright. Everyone then figured I was dying or that I'd just received bad news. So after a couple of pats on the back, atta-girls, and sympathy nods, I stood and asked if I might clarify something. I wasn't talking about ME necessarily.
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Or was I?
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It got me thinking. I pretty much wasted my "writing time" in 2008. Don't get me wrong. I think I needed the break. I certainly needed the down time from other crap that was going on. But...whatEVER the reason(s) for my not writing, right now I'm feeling the guilt, the pinch (lack of $$ because I have nothing coming OUT), and the frustration of having unborn stories growing within my pea-sized brain. Birthing an idea is akin in many ways to birthing a baby. You still get the friggin' food cravings one minute and want to upchuck the next, you feel fat because your butt is in a chair instead of out walking/exercising, and you ask yourself, God, The Universe when the hell that baby will ever be born.
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So what am I going to do? HellifIknow.
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No, really. I refuse to call them goals this year. I refuse to even call them plans. You can call them what you will, but I know me...I have to call them intentions (for lack of a better word right now). Not ideas, and not "if everything works to my advantage" intentions, but determined "I'm gonna do this and this and this" type of intentions.
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I guess I've f****ing had it with good intentions and want strong ones or something. I've had it with babying myself, coddling my insecurities and putting salve salad verbiage on my wounds. Writing will NEVER come first with me - I'll get that out there right now. It may come second or third or fourth at any given time, but it will never ever take precedence over family - or even friends, should they need me (as in gotta have you here right this minute). But...it will be a greater priority in 2009 than it was in 2008.
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I wore my "Smut...the new black" tee shirt that Cece gave me several months ago (is it really going on two years?????) to the meeting, drew a few chuckles. But my intentions aren't to write smut per se. Nothing wrong with it. Smut has been good to me (oh, bite me). But there are other things I want to write this year besides sex.
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Oh, I intend to write sex...I just want to write a few more laughs and a lot more suspense without the erotic base. I want to concentrate on brainy parts, not just body parts (which will be the biggest challenge - lol).
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Handyman Dave fixed the leak in the bathtub; #1 Son bought me a frappuccino; daughter-in-law made me 2 pair of French hook earrings (she's learning how to make jewelry, thanks to her Auntie Lex and cousin Kelly in Australia - they've created a monster); and I have good ideas under my belt and terrific friends to give me a hug or kick my butt, depending upon the occasion and necessity. Not a bad way to walk into a Sunday.
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Have a good week, everybody.

posted by Bobbie (Sunny) Cole @ 8:22 PM 6 comments