Friday, August 18, 2006

Leaving Home

I think I wanna hide.

My first mainstream went to print this past week and is now out in bookstores. For some reason, I just haven't been able to blog about it. Not that it's tooting my own horn (which I do really hate, but that's beside the point here)...this reluctance runs deeper.

It's not that I fear somebody's gonna die or ill luck will strike if I hawk my wares. It's not anything other than the realization that I'm moving on, that I've left 'home', my comfort zone.

#1 Son takes care of me - without a huge explanation, I stay with him and his girlfriend because of medical reasons...and because they want me here, for some odd reason. We all get along great - no problems there. But he's had a job offer that if taken will require we move. Another comfort zone shake-up, if you will.

I've decided to drop one of my publishers, simply because of the money (or lack thereof)...another move that is unsettling. I'm comfortable with these folks. Sure, they've pissed me off a time or two, but everything has been doable, workable. I'm not sure how I feel just yet about venturing into new territories while leaving behind what has worked for me in the past. (I already have this weird guilt for writing for so many houses, sort of the feeling that I'm cheating on someone with multiple partners and getting paid to do so - ack - a true writer ho'.)

But isn't that how writing is? Don't we strive to do something new, creative, adventurous, to break out of the mold that classifies us as trite? I'm a risk-taker. Always have been. I'm great during a crisis - I just fall apart afterwards. Maybe that's what's bugging me. I'm afraid of the aftermath once the shock sets in.

I've lost 2 friends already this year...death...a pretty permanent 'move', and it's only just past the mid-year point. Another just moved a state away, and once we move, I'll be even further from her. This woman has been a close friend for going on 3 decades, so...I'm not sure how I'll manage knowing I won't see her but maybe once a year.

Then again, that's when I see a huge majority of my friends, once a year at conferences.

I'll blog the book - I'll put up the links, and of course I hope someone out there reads my book and gets something good out of it. I just had to pen my thoughts first, to admit how shaky I feel now that my writing is 'out there' in book stores.

Thanks for listening. Feel free to voice your opinion or tell me I'm not alone, that you, too, have been there, done that.

Just to show that I'm okay, though, I'll post a photo from Janet for your daily giggle.

One kewl thing about this move, other than more money, etc, is that I'll only be about an hour or so away from Janet, and I haven't seen HER in over five years. Makes for a certain symmetry, no?



~ Sunny

addendum...looks like I'll be closer to Merry if this job comes through for #1 Son! *sigh* Okay. Now I don't feel so all alone.

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9 Comments:

At 8:41 AM, Blogger Merry said...

I checked with the KC Borders while I was there yesterday and although its listed, they don't get LEAVING MAMA in their store until Aug 21. (snarl). So I couldnt' buy it, yet.

 
At 8:43 AM, Blogger Merry said...

And another thing - you're moving closer to me (rubs hands together plotting hot plans to meet, greet, shop, and eat).

 
At 9:43 AM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

omg - REALLY??? That would be so kewl! - lol. Makes my day. See (telling myself) there's a really good reason for everything, even those moves you dread making until they're over. Well, if he gets this job, this will certainly give me something to look forward to, Merry!!!!!!

 
At 3:22 PM, Blogger Lauren Dane said...

Woo! I'm doing school shopping for my two oldest monsters this weekend so I'm going to stop into Waldenbooks to snatch one up!

 
At 8:47 AM, Blogger Melany said...

I'm going to have to look for it.

Change is always difficult. Glad you will be close to Merry.

And you have to do what you have to do. You're a business and what isn't working has to change.

Good luck with everything.

Lany

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

Lauren & Lany, what sweet comments - THANK YOU!

 
At 7:55 AM, Blogger Kate R said...

would you GLOAT already? I'm the only one out in the universe yapping about you --and me. Don't forget me. (OY that I Am Better Than The World snark is easy to adopt and almost addictive....hmmm)

Anyway. Hi Lyn! HELLO!

 
At 3:29 PM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

Kate, you KILL ME! - lol - What would I do without you besides suffer angst and boredom?

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger Amie Stuart said...

sort of the feeling that I'm cheating on someone with multiple partners and getting paid

LOL I Love this and it's SO true! Good luck on the move sweets if it happens and I'm praying it does, especially if it brings you south, but I'm guessing it wont =\

Drop me a line some time and let's catch up. I'm a sucky emailer and blogger right now.

Congrats on the print release babe!

 

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