Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanks Giving

Today I’m thankful for many things. I’m thankful for friends with a warped sense of humor. Janet, Helen, and Donna come to mind.

Pussy & Thanksgiving

The exchange of good holiday wishes went something like this:

Donna’s Coworker: Happy Thanksgiving, Donna.


Donna: You, too! Happy Thanksgiving!


Coworker: I’ll bet you wish the Pilgrims had served cat instead of turkey. Right?


Donna: (puzzled) Say what?



Coworker: You know, if they had, we’d all be eating pussy instead of bird this week.


Speaking of pussy…

I taught Alexis Fleming how to say the word pussy. It’s true. She was a sweet little thing with a clean mouth before she met me. But you know how it goes…

somebody corrupted Jaci

Jaci corrupted Ann

Ann trashed my mind

I didn’t want to make the journey to Smutville alone, so I snagged Lex


One evening after I’d suggested Lex write smut, telling her that if I could do it, anybody could, she said, “Oh, I couldn’t. I can’t even say the word pussy without blushing.”

“Sure you can. Just practice.”
“Sunny, I can’t.”
“Then practice writing it.”

Days go by, and one evening I’m having computer trouble, so #1 Son steps in to fix the problem. I forget and leave Yahoo Messenger up while he’s working in my office. Suddenly I hear the loud DING to alert me someone has IM’d me. Then I hear The Kid cracking up. I go in there, and he’s about to piss himself laughing. He says, “I think this one’s for you.”

I look at the screen, and Lex has completely filled the Messenger box with the word pussy. I mean it’s covering the screen. I couldn’t even tell her about it for another three years, but around here, anytime someone says the word, The Kid and I look at each other and burst out laughing.


Lemons & Thanksgiving

I’m extremely grateful for friends who keep me sane. If Life hands me lemons, Kate’s the friend who already has 6 cups of sugar and a huge pitcher of water ready. She’s halfway through a recipe for lemon bars or lemon cookies, too.

I look at the lemons and think WOW – COOL – GRENADES to lob at assholes.

Carol’s the new friend who’ll invite me to Starbucks to think about it before I do something rash. We might even have a lemon-something pastry with our caffeine while I cool off.

Lex would ask me to bake a carrot cake…more on that in a minute.

Donna or Heather Rae would help me eat whatever I cooked. Janet would send me a joke about it. Helen would, too, only the joke would be political, something to do with Republicans getting pummeled with lemons. Lee & Mike would send me jokes about pussies. Merry would suggest we go out for cheesecake – she always knows great places to go, like The Cheesecake Factory.
Back to Lex. Our conversation would go something like this:

Lex: Bake me a carrot cake.
Me: But I have lemons.
Lex: Find some carrots – I know how you love carrot cake. I’ll bet we can really come up with something special.

She’s sneaky like that – throwing me off track, keeping my ass out of trouble. Lex is my voice of reason when Merry isn’t around. Lex keeps me sane when I want those lemons. When I want to just pound the crap out of say other writers who talk smack about their fellow writers (okay, their competition). I want to tell them I’m not buying their books any more if they’re disloyal to their publisher and to our comrades. Screw ‘em if they’re jealous or if they’re lemmings who want to join the Mob psychology. But Lex, and even Kate, stick by me, soothing me, telling me to keep my mouth shut, to bide my time and make lemonade or bake until the time is right to strike back. If ever.

So I have a lot to be thankful for this holiday season. My family is certainly not least, but looks like they’re last in this particular post.

I love you all.


Happy Thanksgiving.

~ Sunny

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8 Comments:

At 6:20 PM, Blogger Mechele Armstrong said...

I love Maxine! Great post and Happy Thanksgiving!

From your earlier post on my blog, we have certainly come a long way. And I'm so glad that on the path I'm on, I meet such wonderfully talented people like you.

 
At 8:22 PM, Blogger Merry said...

Hey, glad you and the Kids had a good day.

We did, too.

BTW, Becky, Mom and I are planning a trip to see ya...not sure when, but soon.

 
At 12:52 AM, Blogger Shesawriter said...

Lynn,

You worry me sometimes. LOL!

 
At 1:39 AM, Blogger Alexis Fleming said...

ROFLMAOOOOOOOO

I forgot about the pussy incident. You're giving all my secrets away, Ms Cash. lol

I'm glad you had a great Thanksgiving Day, my friend. Wish I could have been there to share it with you.

Hugs
Alexis

 
At 7:57 AM, Blogger Trish said...

LOL

I never thought I would see the words "pussy" and "Thanksgiving" in the same post. Too funny!

 
At 11:17 AM, Blogger Michele said...

ROTFL!!!

I thought I was the only one left that blushed at those words.
Heck I can't even write certain other naughty words without blushing, and I READ erotica romance!

I can read it, it just can't come out of my mouth and when I write it, I cringe and think it sounds like I feel. - goofy.

What a fun post ...I hope you had a great T-day feast!

And if you went shopping at 4AM to get the sales this AM, which I refused to get out of bed for, I hope you snagged your shopping goals!

Have a great weekend!

 
At 3:08 PM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

Hey, everybody! Love the feedback. I felt weird blogging about such things together - lol.

No, I didn't go shopping. Daughter in law, however, had to be at work at 4, said lines around the building, too.

Cooked and worked all day yesterday but had fun with the family. So today I sat on my duff, took a long shower, drank coffee, chatted with friends. Am taking it easy today.

Merry, can't WAIT to see The Garage Sale Girls together again!!!

 
At 7:44 AM, Blogger Kate R said...

I really did read this a while ago and thought.
awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Now I'm thinking it again. Thanks.

 

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