Thursday, October 09, 2008

Janet Is So Warped


Here's the latest she's sent me...


Itchy Old Lady
One day an old lady went to the doctors because she had an itch in her crotch. She told the doctor her problem and he said, 'You have the crabs.' She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was an eighty year old virgin. She went to another doctor and explained her problem to him. The doctor said, 'You probably have the crabs.'


'No' she said, 'I am an eighty year old virgin.'



Frustrated, she went to a third doctor. She said, 'Doctor can you help me??? I have an itch in my crotch. Don't tell me that it is the crabs because I am an eighty year old virgin. It can not be the crabs.'


The doctor said, 'Get on the table and let's have a look.' After examining, the doctor proclaimed,'Ma'am, you're right, you do not have the crabs. This cherry is sooooo old, you have fruit flies.'

I told you she's warped.



Another...



I have just found out that there are several stores (not just in the South) where you can get a FREE Bar-B-Q grill! You can get a FREE BBQ grill from any of the following stores:

A&P

Albertsons

Costco

Dan's

Food Lion


Fry's

Home Depot

Kroger

Big Lots

Brookshire's

Lowes

Publix

Safeway

Sam's Club

Target

Vons

Trader Joe's

Wal Mart

Winn-Dixie

.................here it is...................














aaaaaaaaand...my favorite of the last batch she sent...






WARNING - Do not set liquor near your Halloween pumpkins.......






yeah, yeah, I know...I'm warped, too.

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5 Comments:

At 3:59 PM, Blogger Michele said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA
LOVED The Bar B Cue!

And that pumpkin reminds me of me after a glass of tequila. Can't hold the stuff. Blech!

HAHA... about the old cherry..I thought at first he was going to say after looking that she was right, but there was nothing left of her cherry but the PIT..you know, cherry pit?

I'm bad too...**gg**

 
At 1:42 PM, Blogger Denise Patrick said...

Those were hilarious!!! Although, I have to make a correction - you cannot get a free BBQ grill at Target or Albertson's here. All their baskets are red and blue plastic, respectively.

 
At 9:32 PM, Blogger Denise Patrick said...

Almost forgot. Check out my blog for my newest review!!

 
At 3:17 PM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

CHERRY PIT? *snort, snort, and double snort* OMG - you ARE bad.

*waving at Denise* will get over there soon - promise

 
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