Sunday, April 05, 2009

Wii Are The Champions

So one of my local friends has lost 25 pounds and looks fabulous. Asked her what she’s been doing, and she said she bought Wii Fit and has been using Alli. I have no gall bladder, so Alli wouldn’t do much for me except give me the runs. But The Boy and The Girl love Wii, so I knew mentioning this to them would strike some interest. #1 Son and #1 DIL went out to dinner for a ‘date night’ and came home with a Wii. Cool, right?
Total humiliation. The store was out of Wii Fit, so I have Wii My Fitness Coach
to work with until Fit comes into their store again (they said they can’t keep it on the shelves – it’s evidently quite popular, at least in the Heartland). First I constructed my Mii, my little avatar that looks somewhat like me. Then I had to take my body measurements (as if that’s not humiliating enough). THEN I had to take the tests. First one, I nearly killed myself. Jumping Jacks? I’m lucky if I can walk without tripping and falling. Every time I’d attempt one, I’d wind up ten inches closer to the television, where I broke my nose (after tripping) back in February.
And ‘the girls’, even in my snuggest, best sports bra, were jumping out and asking WTF are you doing? Are you crazy? The push-ups? Even worse. The only thing I did close to what could be called WELL was the limber, touch your toes type thing. Hands on floor, palms down, and feet twelve inches apart. Move forward, stop when you get to where you can comfortably (are you fucking kidding me?) remain in position for at least two seconds – do this three times. Then find where you measure up on the diagrams. There was actually one diagram where the stick figure looked like she was passed smooth out. I’m not sure if she was on her back or if the bitch could actually flatten herself on her stomach like that and wrap her hands around her feet.
Once I had my avatar in place and my statistics recorded, son asked if I wanted to begin my workout. Hell, no. I want a damned frappuccino from Starbucks, a burger from Sonic, a hot tub, massage, and a bed. If Hugh Jackman, Brad Pitt, and Gerard Butler were all standing before me naked, I’d be inclined to ask “wanna go get a pizza” before I’d even THINK of anything else.
But Son committed to buying the system, so I committed to 15 minutes per day to work out. Mind you, that trainer had better not get snarky, because it’ll take me five minutes just to hook up the handstrap of the controller, another five to get ON the floor mat, and another two or three minutes just to control my breathing so we can begin.
Friggin’ friends. They just have to look good and be inspirational. Motivate, my ass.
Kids are leaving to go look at games at Blockbuster. Me…I’m gonna Pii then Wii so I’ll be a better looking Mii after another four or five months of this torture.



At 7:27 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Okay, okay - you've inspired me. We have a Wii Fit and I'll go back to using it.
But if that damn voice makes another crack about how lousy I am...!!

At 5:13 AM, Blogger Alexis Fleming said...

Mwhahahahaha! Sorry, Sun, but you cracked me up. I've given up on the weight loss for the moment. What you see is what you get. lol

At 9:58 AM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

I hear ya on the voice, Beth. I've been up about 3 hours and haven't had the nerve to turn on the Wii yet, but it's like 31 degrees this morning, so I'm exercising inside once I have my coffee and work up my courage.

:P Lex - lol. I didn't say I'll be FIT at RT, just that I'm starting my program prior. *sigh*


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