Wednesday, March 28, 2007

It's a good day...

1. When Janet sends you a new joke. (she also sent the photo to the left...story goes that a guy got this tattoo then wound up in jail *choke* betcha he was kinda popular)

2. When Merry comes home from the Middle East.

3. When you have the opportunity to write for yet another publisher.

4. When your last book is cleaning up on the reviews.

5. When it's Wednesday night, and that means spaghetti with The Kids.

6. When the landlord fixes the French doors so that they close easier (and when ya get to meet his Mrs. who likes to read)

Now...about that joke Janet sent me...

The Navy found they had too many Officers and Chiefs decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on his body. The officers got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer, who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third was a grizzled old Chief Petty Officer who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him, provided the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em", which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's penis and began to work back.

"My God!" he suddenly exclaimed. "Where are your testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied. "Vietnam."'s another one from Janet...

The Flight Crew

The airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc . Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination."

Ed sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"

When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"

"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."

"My God," said Ed, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit."

"That's another thing sir," said the attendant. "We No Longer Call It The Cock Pit. It's now The Box Office."

And here you thought you were gonna have another boring blog about writing, awards, and please-go-buy-my-book(s). Maybe next time :) Enjoy the rest of your week!



At 8:14 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Thanks for the laughs!
It was a great way to end an otherwise ho-hum crappy day.
I'm smiling!

At 7:53 PM, Blogger Merry said...

I am so THANKFUL to be home, too!

And my puppies greeted me so incredibly happy! Whoever said, "My goal in life is to be as good a person my dog already thinks I am" wasn't kidding.

People, give thanks to be an American tonight...because let me tell ya, some of the alternatives are pretty grim.

It IS a good day!

At 8:47 PM, Blogger April said...

Your posts always leave me with a smile! Thanks!!

At 8:53 PM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

THANKS, Beth & April. Again, Miss Merry, I missed you - it's so GOOD to have you HOME!


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