Thursday, February 18, 2010

Fruit Salad

When did all of our bath & beauty products start resembling a fruit salad? All I want is a good, hot shower, but the shampoos and conditioners are everything from melon to limon, strawberry to boysenberry, kiwi to grape, with an occasional lilac or orange spice thrown in. I'm surprised nobody has come up with vinaigrette yet. And don't get me started on feminine hygiene products, although I can totally understand anyone wanting to get a fresher smell down there. But garden scents? Are those truly the odiferous memories we carry with us from childhood into adulthood? Why not something from the kitchen?

Maybe my upbringing was a tad different from everyone else's, but Dutch apple pie, cinnamon buns, vanilla added to cookies and cakes, even a damned green bean casserole or beef rump roast would be a change of pace. Hmm. Maybe the fruity scents are to keep the dogs from humping our legs or something. I mean, that roast beef would definitely cause Trouble in my house.

Who knows where ad execs get their ideas. I just wish they'd revert back to the 80's now and then, when female scents were labled My Sin, Shalimar, White Linen. Gimme a female scent, not some food processor re-hash of my refrigerator's fruit & veggie bin. Hell, if it's for the underarms, call it No-Sweat. If it's vaginal cream or spray, call it Puss-In-Boots or Puss-In-Heels. Something that deals with what it IS and what I'm wearing, not what I eat. Lesbian feminine spray? Muff Muncher. Athletic chic? Fast & Loose. Busy mom? Call it Fuck-You-I'm-Busy. Anything but a fruit that only lasts about as long as the damned scent does.

I need to write. Definitely a Lyn or a Cash book, not a Bobbie, not with the mouth I've got today.

Happy Smelling, ya'll...
~ Sunny Lyn



At 3:58 AM, Blogger Lyvvie said...

I know this was about scents, and I wholeheartedly agree, people should not smell like fruit, except for citrus. I like a bit of lemon, bergamot and lime. Lime...yummmy. Bite worthy scents.

Anyways, It for some reason made me think about this skit called Bo Derek Style. Then just keep watching, Smack the Pony was a great show.

At 8:05 AM, Anonymous Nana said...

I absolutely agree! Who wants to smell like fruit? I don't get it.
I have had this thought myself, many times, but you wrote it so eloquently!

At 7:28 AM, Blogger Jackie Bannon said...

Ok, you crack me up. And I'm sorry to say - I happen to love the fruit stuff because it's the only stuff that I can wear that doesn't make me SICKER THAN A DOG!!! Anything with flowers or musk and you might be rushing me to the hospital.

Still, they don't have to go as overboard as they have. There are some scents out there - hell, I didn't even know that fruit existed!


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