Thursday, March 30, 2006

Blame It On The Move

GAWD, but I hate moving. The move itself is over, but we all feel like crap on a cracker. Worst thing is that our bathroom tiles in the new place aren't set/dried (part of the flooring had to be replaced), so we're having to traipse across the street to use the facilities in the old house. Landlord already has it leased, so he's not happy about this, but I keep thinking what the hell does he expect us to do - crap on HIS lawn and shower in his garage? When ya gotta go, it's like trekking the damned Andes or The Great Wall of China before you find relief.

Don the Handyman reads this blog and wonders why I haven't mentioned him, so I'll do so now. He's been a peach through all of this. We wouldn't even have the new flooring if not for him, and he's a wizard when it comes to 'making do' with what Landlord supplies him with. Don ran out of tiles in both the mudroom and the bathroom so made a mosaic for both areas where the washer and dryer sit and where the toilet sits. May sound weird, but it works. Not everyone has a handyman who once studied for an English lit degree, so he keeps the place lively.

My mom emailed me this morning a bit out of sorts due to the weather. Today, I personally like cloudy, dreary, drizzling, and cool, because I'm staying home, watching things from my covered front porch in this ancient old house. I'm not unpacking anything, moving anything, or straining myself to be too creative. It's time to recharge both the emotional batteries and the physical body, so screw whoever dares intervene.

Enjoy your day. I'm gonna do some easy multi-tasking and have my java.

The joke of the day comes from Janet:

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.

"I'd like to be six again," she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early,made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the DeathSlide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster... everythingthere was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again?"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my Dress Size, you dumb ass!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.

Sowwy, menfolk - you know I love you - just thought this was funny.

addendum hours later: oh, okay - I've been sloughing off all day, might as well share some of the funnies:

Brokeback Mountain Happy Meal



At 3:06 PM, Blogger Rae said...

Loved the joke of the day. I'm sending you cyber hugs, because I can't imagine not being able to use our bathroom. I hope it dries very, very soon.

Rae, who's currently listening to the Weather channel--stay safe.

At 7:06 PM, Blogger Shesawriter said...

That cartoon was a hoot, Lyn! Thanks for posting it. I can relate. LOL

At 10:11 PM, Blogger Kris Starr said...

OMG, LOVED the Brokeback Happy Meal...

Ahem. Yeah, I'm a little twisted that way. :D


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