Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Slade & Rebecca

My great-grandmother once told me how to name a child - holler their name out the door as if you're calling him/her to lunch, and if it doesn't sound right, try something else. That's sort of how I wind up birthing a character. I have to hear that character's voice, see their image, and discover how they handle a situation before I'm comfortable labeling them.

Today, however, I had some minor surgery done and was so taken with my doctor, whose first name is Slade, that I foresee building something around that name since I've already met the gregarious physician in person. Not that I'd know how to write a doctor, but he may find himself a cowboy, a corporate bulldog, or an engineer. His nurse, Rebecca, has to go in a book, too. She's a strawberry blonde with an equally engaging personality and is so darned nice you can't hate her for being beautiful as well.

I think what I'm getting at is that I meet so many interesting people who already have names that I don't bother with calling them anything else half the time - ha ha. Not like they're gonna mind my borrowing what their parents or whoever call them as long as the spirit is kind, right? Well, okay - one friend did, but only because her name is so unusual she wanted the first time she saw it in a book to be one of her own, as author, but she's been nice about it all. Even though I did take a very 'nice' lady and make her the heroine in a BDSM.

One of my friends sent me this joke about naming kids:

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids .

"WOW," the social worker exclaims,"are they ALL YOURS???"

"Yep they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard thatquestion a thousand times before. She says, "Sit down Leroy."All the children rush to find seats.

"Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names."

"This one's my oldest - he is Leroy."

"OK, and who's next?"

"Well, this one he is Leroy, also."

The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy!

"All right," says the caseworker. "I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy?"

Their Momma re! plied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes a'runnin. An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy."

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not thewhole bunch?"

"I call them by their last names."

So how do you wind up with your characters' names, now that I've confessed that I blatantly steal mine?

I'll end this with another photo by the same warped friend. She claims this is what REALLY distracted Cheney a few weeks ago...



What can I say?


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12 Comments:

At 6:31 PM, Blogger Shesawriter said...

The names just come to me sometimes, but more often than not, I open up the Baby Name Book, and take whatever leaps out at me.

 
At 12:28 AM, Anonymous Doug Hoffman said...

GREAT joke, Lyn. You can bet I'll be repeating it in the O.R. tomorrow.

And, my gawd, I swear I'm trying to avoid the porn sites tonight, but I keep finding turn-ons in the most unlikely places. I love those asses.

 
At 12:33 AM, Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

This is a very Crescent City joke, by the way (that's where I practice -- Crescent City, CA).

I've shouted you out.

 
At 10:55 AM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

Tanya, I love going through baby name books, but at my age whenever someone sees my holding one their eyebrows raise...about 2 inches - lol.

Doug, thanks for the shout-out. Been over there but haven't posted yet - gotta go through your other links when I get time. We have emtpied the house across the street (we're moving) but still have to clean out the garage, alas.

Nice to see you both today.

 
At 1:18 PM, Blogger Sam said...

My husband loved the Leroy joke, but he REALLY loved the hunters...LOL

That is hysterical.

Oh, and of course you can use the recipe!

 
At 9:17 AM, Blogger X. Dell said...

You're assuming, of course, that these ladies would get a rise out of the Vice President. Sure, he's married and everything, but that could be political cover.

For all we know, Cheney was responsible for getting Jeff Gannon's White House Press Corps credentials. Think about it.

 
At 9:43 AM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

X.Dell - Man, I think about stuff like that all the time. James Dale Guckert the Bulldog must've had one hefty payback for all his reporting. Pretty insidious. A gay male friend of mine in DC sent me a movie poster takeoff of "Brokeback Mountain" with Cheney, Bush, Rice, and of course Laura, and the title of their 'movie' slashing across the poster read: Fuckback Mountain. If I delved into politics as opposed to writing on this blog I'd post that and a few other tidbits - lol. I enjoy lurking on your site and Doug's. Just figure nobody cares what I have to say and I tend to get carried away when it comes to Shrub anyway. (He's not even a fullgrown Bush to me.)

 
At 3:58 PM, Blogger Rinda Elliott said...

I got a Brokeback Poster but it said "Dumbfuck Mountain."

 
At 7:30 AM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

I stand corrected, Ms Rinda - as usual I had the thing bassackwards in my mind. *grin* It WAS "Dumbfuck Mountain" - lol.

 
At 11:23 AM, Blogger Amie Stuart said...

>>"I call them by their last names."

HOLY SH*T LOL

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger Rinda Elliott said...

Oh, I wasn't correcting, just telling what mine said. I love that poster. I saved it. I'll send you a doctored pick of me and Dumbf...er, I mean Bush that a friend of mine did.

 
At 2:58 PM, Blogger Madeline Hill said...

I thought Rebeccas and Slade were the kittie and her companion! I was trying to figure out who was whom.. since neither one looked substantial enough to carry such a beefcakey name as SLADE..

I will be looking for your new hero!

PS: thanks for visiting MY blog! I found you!

 

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