Thursday, March 20, 2008

Not me, you understand...just somebody I know.

Editor #1: Just thought I'd say hello. Haven't heard from you in ages. Have anything for me?

Me: Nothing at the moment. (Because you don't pay worth a damn.)

Editor #1: I really wish you'd do a m/m for us. Lots of requests for those.

Me: I just don't have anything right now. (And I really, really feel guilty, because you're so flippin' nice.)

Editor #1: (disappointed) Well, that's okay. I'll check on you again in a week or so. Have a nice Easter!

Me: No, mine was the Christmas fairy elf waif screwing the reindeer guide's brains out story.

Editor #2: I'm just so far behind--I'm sorry. What did we talk about last?

Me: My FLE - you were to have the final line edits to me last month, remember?

Editor #2: Oh. Well, I don't think we received the contract on that one.

Me: I have an email confirming that you have them. (Besides, you used that excuse last year just before June. It hasn't even been a year - try something new on me, please.)

Editor #2: I'll have to get back to you.

Me: (Of course you will.) You do realize that this was a Christmas story, right? And that Christmas was 3 months ago?

Editor #2: Oh. Well, they're still printing Christmas stories - it really doesn't matter. But that's why we tell our authors not to write specifically to any particular time period or season.

Me: It was for one of your themed series - the Christmas one. I won a slot last August.

Editor #2: Oh. Well, I'll get back to you.

Me: (And I shall bite my tongue and sit on my hands for one more book.)

Editor #3: Did you ever get your complimentary copies for that January story?

Me: Sorry - still haven't received them. I did get my check, though (THANK YOU, JESUS).

Editor #3: Great. Have anything new? I really need something for the July issue - have to put it to bed in two weeks.

Me: I'll have something for you by the first. (Simply because you are on the friggin' BALL 24/7.)

Editor #1: Did we do something to offend you?

Me: What?

Editor #1: It has been a long time since you submitted anything. I just wanted to make sure that we're okay.

Me: We're fine - really! (WHY does she have to be so nice?) I - I'm just having a hard time this year for some reason. Just lots going on.

Editor #1: Well, we're here. Just take your time and email me when you have something. I'll check on you next week.

Me: (meekly, gratefully, guiltily) Okay. Thanks. (Fuck. Another day, another fifty cents.)

Flashed by the Easter Bunny?

(Damn, it's not working - LOL)



At 10:19 AM, Blogger Kate R said...

I'd ask who is that clueless one but know that would be useless. You'll never tell. (email me, 'k?)

At 6:26 PM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

you're RIGHT - lol

And I will email you and phone you and make an utter pest of myself after tonight.


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