Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Some goodies from Janet…


---Here AreTen of Murphy's Lesser Known Laws--

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
3. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting somethingright, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, ...on a hill, ...in the fog.
7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.
8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the "F" word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A. A northern fairytale begins, "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."

The card you will NOT be giving your kids this coming Sunday...

Janet ain't right, ya'll - she just ain't right. But she is a loveable cuss, and she keeps me in touch with my funny side.

You probably won't be giving them this one either - lol.



At 3:17 AM, Blogger Sam said...

The Murphey's law thingy is SO true.

My shin still hurts.

At 12:02 PM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

:) I think #'s 1, 2, 3, and 7 were my favorites.


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