Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Raunchy Tuesday Humor

Remember ladies, the best way to attract a man is with your eyes.

That's why it's so important to have your eye makeup perfectly applied. If it weren't for the excellent application of proper eye makeup this young lady probably wouldn't get a second look from most guys.

My raunchy joke of the day (from Janet - gotta blame it on someone)...


The parish priest went on a fishing trip.

On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!"

"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"

"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a Bitch fish!"

"Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!"

Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster. "Father, that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen."

"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it?"

"Why, eat it! Of course. You've never tasted anything as good as Son of a Bitch!"

Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip. "Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"

Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!"

"It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is, a Son of a Bitch fish!"

"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?"

Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for his dinner. "I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch", she said.

As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in. "What are you doing Sister?"

"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the new Bishop's Dinner."

"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"

"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a Bitch Fish."

"Really? Well, in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course! Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch."

On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal. The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent.

The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"

"I caught that Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest. "And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the Sister. The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bitch, using a special recipe!

The new Bishop looked around at each of them. A big smile crept across his face as he said, "You fuckers are my kind of people!"



At 10:53 AM, Blogger Sam said...

Ha! Son of a bitch!

The photo reminded me of a science program I saw the other day. Apparently humans are the only mammels with permanantly enlarged breasts because...when we assumed an upright position the males could no longer see our derieres and needed that 'prompt', so our chest glands developed to resemble asses. Yes, folks. That is scientific information.
On the plus side, the male of the speicies had to develope a considerably bigger penis to compensate for his newly acquired upright position.
Evolution is SO interesting. I don't see why my Catholic school refused to teach it.

At 11:11 AM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

well, you have just f***ing wrecked me - spewed my gourmet coffee all OVER the place - AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA.

where on earth did you get that info? (gotta pass it on to my Kid)


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