Thursday, September 25, 2008

Fall

Found myself looking up information for a friend, then for a relative, and while researching came upon some interesting material. This gal had an article on the liver, which…believe it or not…I found fascinating. Nothing will get your attention quicker than for your doctor to tell you that you need a liver biopsied, and then you read up on the problems that will occur should you have liver cancer. So, yeah…this one intrigued me. For one thing, when I wake up, my usual first thoughts involve caffeine, nicotine, and praying that everybody has showered and given me free rein in the bathroom for at least five minutes. My waking moments have never been spent wondering what delights I can do for my liver that morning.


A Little Help for the Liver
by author Karen Jensen, ND

The liver is a remarkable organ and is the central chemical laboratory in the body. In a world in which new toxins are introduced daily, it’s more important than ever to make sure our livers are happy and healthy. The liver plays an important role in metabolism. Perhaps the most important metabolic function of the liver is the detoxification, or inactivation and excretion, of toxic chemicals, drugs and hormones, both those made by the body and those that come from outside sources.

The liver inactivates these substances and sends them onto physiological, biochemical pathways that eventually result in their excretion by the bowels, lungs, kidneys or skin. The liver is also involved in fat, carbohydrate and protein metabolism and vitamin and mineral storage. The liver is a major blood reservoir, filtering more than 1.4 litres of blood per minute. It removes bacteria, toxins, and various other unwanted substances from the blood. Every day the liver manufactures and secretes approximately 1 L of bile. Bile is necessary for the absorption of fat-soluble material from the intestines, including many vitamins, and its secretion helps eliminate many toxic substances.

Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) considers the liver the organ most strongly affected by our emotions. Conversely, TCM practitioners and many others have long recognized that when the liver is stressed, anger, depression and irritability are more likely to arise. When a person’s liver is functioning harmoniously, the person stays calm and relaxed. Many factors determine whether the liver performs its critical functions well. Too much pressure on the liver from overeating, too much rich or poor-quality food, environmental stresses, overwork or emotional stress can cause liver overload, leading to a decreased ability to clear toxins and hormones and manufacture bile. An overloaded liver allows toxic waste material to pass into the blood and the body. The steps you need to take to detoxify a congested liver depend on how severe the problem is. Start with the simple dietary and lifestyle measures outlined below and see how they make you feel. If you feel your liver needs further support, begin using herbs that support liver function.

Choices That Support the Liver

1. Start your morning with fresh lemon juice in water; this helps flush and decongest the liver.
2. Eat beets or drink beet and vegetable juice regularly. Beets are an excellent liver cleanser.
3. Chlorophyll drinks and other green drinks can be used regularly to aid in liver cleansing
4. High quality protein foods are necessary to restore and sustain the liver. Free-range eggs, fish, raw nuts and seeds and whole grains are beneficial.
5. Nutritional antioxidants such as vitamin E, zinc and selenium are essential for protecting the liver from free radical damage.
6. Liver restoration also requires lots of fresh air, exercise, adequate rest, natural foods and a minimum of 2L (approx. 2 quarts) of pure water daily. Other liquids do not count toward the required water intake.


Liver Support

Civilizations throughout history have been aware of the healing action that specific herbs have on the liver. Known as cholagogues (the Greek word khole means bile), these plants trigger the liver’s production of bile. Increased bile production gently cleanses the liver. As toxins are cleared, the liver cells can more easily access nutrients and becomes toned. During a cleansing or detoxification program, I suggest that a liver support herb such as dandelion or burdock be taken two to three times daily for the length of the program.

To keep the liver healthy in our toxic and stressful world, a liver-supportive herb such as milk thistle should be taken periodically, for example two to three times daily for one week every month. Burdock root has traditionally been used as a blood cleanser to support the liver and hormonal health.

Studies show that it is also effective as an immune system enhancer, in the stabilization of blood sugar and as an antibiotic, antifungal and anti-tumor agent. Dandelion root is considered the ideal liver remedy because it is completely non-toxic and gently restores liver function. It enhances the flow of bile and supports the kidneys during cleansing and detoxification of the liver and bowels. Milk thistle contains some of the most potent liver-protective substances known, including silymarin, which inhibits the action of free radials that damage liver cells. It also stimulates protein synthesis, which results in the production of new liver cells to replace the damaged ones. Turmeric has long been considered a powerful healing plant. Curcumin, the principal active ingredient, has demonstrated potent liver protective, detoxifying, anti-carcinogenic, anti-inflammatory and antioxidant activity.

Other effects of turmeric include lowering of cholesterol, improvement of fat metabolism and improvement of digestion. Globe artichoke head, leaves and root have traditionally been used to improve digestion as well as liver, gallbladder and kidney function. The cynarin found in artichoke has been found to stimulate bile secretion as well as lower triglyceride and cholesterol levels. Artichoke also has some antioxidant activity. You can find these herbs both on their own or in combination at your local health food store.


The liver energy system governs the peripheral and central nervous system, the eyes and tendons and provides energy and vitality to the sexual organs. When the liver is stressed, emotions such as anger, depression, moodiness, aggression, resentment and irritability are more likely to arise. Physical symptoms such as allergies, fatigue, indigestion and distended abdomen, eye problems (spots, red, watery), headaches, hot flushes, insomnia, hormonal imbalances such as PMS, muscular pain and neck tension can occur. Everyone could benefit from a cleanse involving the bowel, liver and blood at least once yearly.


Karen Jensen is president of the Alberta Naturopathic Association and co-author of The Complete Athlete, available from alive Books (800-663-6513).
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More Simply Put...

Part of me remembers something a boss once told me, too. Keep the assholes happy, and the rest of the crew (body?) has a better day.

Spring Fever In Reverse

Neighbor & Friend, Dorinda is still hard up for a man. The woman just needs to get laid baaaaad. Anyway, she was with this guy not so long ago, and he had a foot fetish. All he wanted to do was rub her feet, and then…as the relationship progressed, he wanted to do *other things* while rubbing her feet. He had been married, divorced, wasn’t “sure” if he could remarry and feel right, but he was horny and didn’t feel it was Christian to have intercourse. So Dorinda catches on after the third time this happens that the man has some issues. He’s jerking off, breathing heavily, getting to the optimum moment, and she has had enough (I mean all the woman has had removed in three dates is her SOCKS), so she’s wound a bit tightly. She yanks her foot back and yells at him, If I don’t get no dick, you don’t get no feet! And left. (Yes – those are her exact words.)

I laughed, but she’s truly ruined me. I can orgasm just looking at Jimmy Choos or Manolo Blahniks now, and you don’t want to know what a pedicure does for me. If I could just find a man who’d build me a deck and buy me leather…

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5 Comments:

At 10:48 AM, Blogger Gretchen said...

So on this whole liver thing...Does this mean we don't get to celebrate "drink a beer" day?

 
At 10:58 AM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

I hear that drinking 2L of water for the liver and 1L of beer for memory exercises is crutial to well-being.

:) work with me here...

 
At 5:05 AM, Blogger Jennifer said...

Oh no - coffee doesn't count as water???
:-D
Well, I suppose a glass of water and squeezed lemon in the morning shouldn't be too hard. I love artichokes.
In France, when you get sick to your stomach, they say you're having a 'liver crisis'. LOL
Sam

 
At 12:08 PM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

a liver crisis? - hehehe

I can do the lemon and water. Not sure if I can give up my coffee, which...of course...clogs up the pipes. *sigh*

I gotta read some blogs tonight, before this class I'm teaching starts tomorrow. I miss reading yours, Sam. AND SEEING YOUR PHOTOS. You just make my day.

 
At 7:54 PM, Blogger Michele said...

That Foot Fetish story was a hoot!
I hope she finds someone who will do more than remove her socks.
I find it funny because my DH doesn't like feet at ALL!
So I have no concept of what it's like to have someone actually LIKE my feet. At least your friend, KNOWS> ok, a bit too much but still....

And you know, after reading your post ,I am NEVER eating liver again..free range or otherwise...very scary thing when you think what might STILL be in the liver when its digested.
ACK

And it used to be thought to be good for a person..builds the blood or something.
Wow, do we need a thought correction.

And...lemon juice is OK, provided you don't have meds that might adversely be affected by the acid in the lemon..same with orange juice or grapefruit juice....

OH and get this...the summer is known as kidney stone season...people forget to drink water and the salts and stuff gets condensed and those little stones just pop up and cause untold agony. BUT if you drink lemonaide? Keeps the salts and whatever, calcium? from builing up and those little sands/grains keep flowing out without getting a chance to develop muscle.

So, yep, I liked your post.

 

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

Thank Janet for These



Blondes & Brunettes Bowling Teams



Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker bus for a weekend trip to Louisiana. The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level.





The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate.When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.


The brunette asked, "What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!"


One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered... "
YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!?!"

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The Zipper




As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.


Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.


So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.


With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.


About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.


She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, 'How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!'


The Texan smiled and drawled, 'Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends.'


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A Russian and a Redneck


A Russian and a Redneck wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Redneck wrestler's trainer came to him and said 'Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of his 'pretzel' hold he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished.'


The redneck nodded in acknowledgment.


As the match started, the Redneck and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the Redneck and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.


A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.


Suddenly, there was a long, high pitched scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the Redneck collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match. The trainer was astounded.


When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked 'How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!'


The wrestler answered 'Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.'


The trainer exclaimed 'That's what finished him off?'


'Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own nuts.'

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Assicons


We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:


:) means a smile and

:( is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by

:-)

:-(


Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?' Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass


(__!__) a fat ass


(!) a tight ass


(_*_) a sore ass


{_!_} a swishy ass


(_o_) an ass that's been around


(_x_) kiss my ass


(_X_) leave my ass alone


(__) a tired ass


(_E=mc2_) a smart ass


(_$_) Money coming out of his ass


(_?_) Dumb Ass


You have just been e-mooned!


hehehe - have a great weekend...

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3 Comments:

At 4:36 PM, Blogger Gretchen said...

( !)
~^

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger Gretchen said...

A frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender hears the parrot talking and says "Wow, that's really cool. Where'd you get him?" The parrot says "In France, they got millions of them."

 
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Friday, September 12, 2008

Cooking Instead of Writing

I make spectacular sauces and gravies. Let me get that out there first. Sometimes I cook ahead so that I won’t have so much to prepare on a day that requires a large investment of time.

Earlier in the week, I get The Kids out the door, off to work, and along with the “I love you” from both of them was a “Mom, EAT SOMETHING.” So I gave a final wave goodbye, went inside, and I pulled out a couple of day-old biscuits, thinking I’d top them with a nice sausage gravy that I’d saved. I break up the biscuits, because I’m like that and don’t always want to do so with a fork. I pull out the bowl of white stuff, sniff it, dip a finger in it, and…ugh. Wrong bowl. Besides, I don’t think the linguine would do well without the Alfredo sauce that evening.

Here’s where the head injury and disaster step up to the plate. I go to put the Alfredo back into the refrigerator, lean forward too far for the ole head, spill some of the sauce, slip, hit my head on the refrigerator door, step back…into the Alfredo, and do an instant duck-walk that doesn’t work. Boom. Now the stuff is on my ass, not just my hands, feet, and floor.

That was earlier. I manage to make it through a couple of days without mishap, if you don’t count the time I was busy writing in the office and burned the meal on the stove. Then last night…the kicker with last night’s cooking.

Chopped veggies and got them into a pot for the stew, turned on the stove then went to garage for something, looked down, and wow…extremely jagged thumbnail. Had been talking to The Kids and suddenly started muttering shit, oh shit, oh shit and storming back into the house. Guess they thought I’d lost my mind.

Them: (following me) What are you doing?

Me: (dumping vegetables from pan on stove into colander in sink) I’m looking for my thumbnail.

Sure enough – there it was, wedged solidly inside a slice of carrot like some curly, acrylic maggot.

A smart girl would probably crawl back into bed and read today instead of tackle Asian food made from scratch.

Maybe I’ll just bake cookies all day.

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5 Comments:

At 9:12 AM, Blogger Kelly Kirch said...

LOL!! I know I shouldn't laugh but you DID put it out there. Just glad to know I'm not the only clumsy one.

 
At 8:20 PM, Blogger Gretchen said...

Do we need to get you one of those rubber suits so you bounce a little better?

(visual of Sunny bouncing around the kitchen like a superball) Ok, maybe not. Be careful girlie, see you in a couple of weeks. gj

 
At 9:14 AM, Blogger Bronwyn's Blog said...

I was reading this and my mouth kept dropping open farther and farher until I'm sure I looked like the village idiot.

A.) I'm glad you're not hurt
B.) I'm glad I'm not the only one who needs a stunt double to navigate life!

 
At 5:03 AM, Blogger Lyvvie said...

Poor you and the sauce debacle.
You're the Saucy Saucier!

I made poivre sauce for the first time last night! It was great. You're the Saucy Saucier!

 
At 1:19 PM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

Thank you, all.

Lyvvie, I've never made that, but it sounds delicious. I looked up a couple of recipes, and one was with a dijon cream sauce that just made me drool looking at the recipe - lol.

Now. Ya'll quit laughing at me. *g* It WAS funny. I just couldn't believe one damned thing after another, though.

 

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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Hole In My House


Last week was just nuts for me. Monday, The Girl had 3 wisdom teeth extracted, so the next couple of days were spent setting my alarms to wake her every 4 hours to take her medications so she could stay ahead of her pain.

Then came the hole in the house. We finally got the lovely French doors, which were about as useful as tits on a boar hog, replaced with sliding glass doors. Seems the old house was settling, so the job took longer than expected.



My poor dogs were sequestered in my room for about six hours while Handyman Dave ripped a huge hole in the back of the house then tried refilling it with the new doors. Then Dave left the backyard fence wide open. At the last minute, I decided to check the gate (during a thunderstorm) before letting them out. – grrr – idiot.

Lex’s first book with EC debuted. (See previous post for that info.)

Someone dear to me announced that they have cancer. Nothing any of us can do. Another someone dear to me did something illegal that puts them in jeopardy. Again, nothing to be done but buy a ticket and watch the fireworks.

Early registration for next year’s RT convention opened, and my royalty checks are late, plus I didn’t get paid for the last book that came out…guess it’ll be on the next check.

I did have a marvelous Saturday with Gretchen that helped calm me. We had lunch (the Pollo Magnifico) on the patio outside at Jose Peppers near some lovely flowers.

Now and then I teach. Some of you have asked when the next “confessions” class will be, and for now, I don’t have one scheduled. However, that said…If you decide you need or want a class on writing erotic romance, there’s a course in October through WritersOnlineClasses.com that I’ll be teaching. Info is here, Writing the Erotic Romance. I was told they started taking applications to join back in April, if I’m not mistaken!

The 7th is my day to blog at Total ebound Blogspot, if you’d like to drop by on Sunday and say HELLO!

Have a great week, what’s left of it.

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7 Comments:

At 3:12 AM, Blogger Alexis Fleming said...

You really seem to be going through it, kiddo. I'm glad you had Gretchen to give you a bit of calm. Hope that hole in the wall is repaired now. lol

 
At 3:12 AM, Blogger Alexis Fleming said...

You really seem to be going through it, kiddo. I'm glad you had Gretchen to give you a bit of calm. Hope that hole in the wall is repaired now. lol

 
At 3:13 AM, Blogger Alexis Fleming said...

Ack! Sorry, didn't know I was stuttering today. lol

 
At 7:59 PM, Blogger Bronwyn's Blog said...

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

I came by to say congrats on the awesome review, but I'm thinking you need the hugs more.

 
At 7:50 AM, Blogger Lyn Cash said...

*snort* on the stuttering, and LOL

THANKS on the hugs, both of you - I'm doing just fine really. Guess I just had to grouch.

And that review was awesome, huh? - lol - THANKS, Bronwyn.

 
At 8:55 PM, Blogger Gretchen said...

Glad I got to hear your horror story. My door is paid for and should be in sometime this week. Now I know what to worry about. LOL

Take it easy dearie!

gj

 
At 10:42 AM, Blogger Kelly Kirch said...

Hugs, Lyn.

 

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