Friday, May 26, 2006

Memorial Weekend Silliness

Pantyhose Quiz

Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?
A: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, and an unknown number of hares.

Poor Dave

Dave works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and asks, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her--she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Dave tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Dave, you picked up a real bitch this time."

Hope your Memorial Weekend is a safe and happy one.

Be careful if you're at the lake - you never know what might rear itself.

Redneck lawnmower. I gotsta get me one of these.



At 2:49 PM, Blogger Melany said...

LOL, I love the joke but I love the water skiing picture. Too funny.


At 1:49 PM, Blogger Holly said...

I was stalking you from the comment you left on Rene Lyons blog and this just cracked me up! Great joke, and picture. Too funny!


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