Write Like It's Your Last Chance?
Had a writers' meeting today.
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When I first met Gretchen, I loved hanging out with her, just never figured I'd be joining any writers' group shortly afterwards. Have to say that the MARA group she introduced me to has helped me in sooo many ways.
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President Carla Cassidy asked some tough questions of us today. They started off mildly enough (is your writing a career or a hobby, et al) then escalated as she went around the room. By the time it was my turn, most of what I thought the tough ones had been asked. Not so. My question was: What do you intend to do differently this year?
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My response (and consider what I've been going through, with the friend who tried to commit suicide) was: I won't go into the specifics, but I intend to write as if this year is my last.
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Okay. Not bright. Everyone then figured I was dying or that I'd just received bad news. So after a couple of pats on the back, atta-girls, and sympathy nods, I stood and asked if I might clarify something. I wasn't talking about ME necessarily.
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Or was I?
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It got me thinking. I pretty much wasted my "writing time" in 2008. Don't get me wrong. I think I needed the break. I certainly needed the down time from other crap that was going on. But...whatEVER the reason(s) for my not writing, right now I'm feeling the guilt, the pinch (lack of $$ because I have nothing coming OUT), and the frustration of having unborn stories growing within my pea-sized brain. Birthing an idea is akin in many ways to birthing a baby. You still get the friggin' food cravings one minute and want to upchuck the next, you feel fat because your butt is in a chair instead of out walking/exercising, and you ask yourself, God, The Universe when the hell that baby will ever be born.
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So what am I going to do? HellifIknow.
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No, really. I refuse to call them goals this year. I refuse to even call them plans. You can call them what you will, but I know me...I have to call them intentions (for lack of a better word right now). Not ideas, and not "if everything works to my advantage" intentions, but determined "I'm gonna do this and this and this" type of intentions.
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I guess I've f****ing had it with good intentions and want strong ones or something. I've had it with babying myself, coddling my insecurities and putting salve salad verbiage on my wounds. Writing will NEVER come first with me - I'll get that out there right now. It may come second or third or fourth at any given time, but it will never ever take precedence over family - or even friends, should they need me (as in gotta have you here right this minute). But...it will be a greater priority in 2009 than it was in 2008.
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I wore my "Smut...the new black" tee shirt that Cece gave me several months ago (is it really going on two years?????) to the meeting, drew a few chuckles. But my intentions aren't to write smut per se. Nothing
wrong with it. Smut has been good to me (oh, bite me). But there are other things I want to write this year besides sex.
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Oh, I intend to write sex...I just want to write a few more laughs and a lot more suspense without the erotic base. I want to concentrate on brainy parts, not just body parts (which will be the biggest challenge - lol).
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Handyman Dave fixed the leak in the bathtub; #1 Son bought me a frappuccino; daughter-in-law made me 2 pair of French hook earrings (she's learning how to make jewelry, thanks to her Auntie Lex and cousin Kelly in Australia - they've created a monster); and I have good ideas under my belt and terrific friends to give me a hug or kick my butt, depending upon the occasion and necessity. Not a bad way to walk into a Sunday.
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Have a good week, everybody.
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objectionable??? moi??????
I keep getting some stupid sign on my blog that says "objectionable content", like the right-wingers have zapped me and plastered a scarlet A (for asinine) on my blogger chest.
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Thank you, those of you who stop by and say hello, even though my brain is fried and I'm still in 2008, trying to catch up. In other words, thanks for stopping by even though I've been a total shit about visiting anyone else and have been all but a ghost on my own blog.
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Let's see...what IS new? Absolutely nothing, as far as the writing. I helped a friend with a couple of her projects then came home and kicked my own arse, wondering why I can't seem to move ahead on my own stuff. I had a great time, might even have done her some good. So it wasn't a waste on my part. I just feel like a dumbass.
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I've also quit smoking - yeah, I know...not the first time. So I'm a tag grouchy and can't seem to stop doing things like chewing on plastic straws, walking until my butt feels like it's about to come off the hinge that hooks it to my back, and singing sixties toons. Some of them are really bad.
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By the way, cheers, Ms. T. I remember this smile well.
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I also stripped my gears the other day while putting together a new office chair. Got the wheels on, had to get up, inadvertently stepped on the base, and away I flew. Before I landed in perfect Chinese splits (I wasn't aware until then that a gal could break her hoo-hoo), I ripped apart the coffee table, skate-boarded from a sofa to the piano, threw my right shoulder, hip, and ankle out of whack, and switched from a contralto voice to that of a coloratura soprano. In other words, the sumbeotch HURT like the very devil.
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Oh. I have some really kewl spices and am about to use the one for apple pies tomorrow. Not sure how it'll turn out, but I intend to see. I guess that's something new.
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Have a good weekend. It starts on Friday, right?
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Sunny Lyn
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Starting off with a bang...
I missed my date (7th of every month) blogging at Total ebound. I not only didn't make any resolutions, I didn't keep any previously made...and I went back to (I think) 1999.
A friend tried to kill herself on New Year's Day.
A tree fell across the street and caved in the roof of the house (thankfully, not mine...theirs).
One of my editors is no longer with the company.
And I feel great - go figure. I mean, if you can't do anything about any of it...might as well dance, right?
The highlight of the New Year was an adventure with Gretchen Jones, who is ALWAYS an uplifting kindred spirit and a ton of fun. We went to a seed company on the 3rd, but not just any seed company. This one sells herbs, spices, all kinds of things. I picked up some apple pie spice mix, kosher salt, Spanish paprika, chili powder, some rosemary, mint, and something else. It was great fun. Oh, first we had lunch - Reubens. Mmm.
(okay, so the lighting was a bit off in my photo - but she's gorgeous - you'll just have to trust me - she has this Ava Gardner in her hey-day air about her, and the thickest dark hair imaginable...can't be hatin' though - she's too nice)
Then we went to a museum. About 20 years ago, a steamboat that used to travel the Mighty Mo sank when it hit a snag, and 132 years later the ship and its contents (nobody died, by the way, when the ship sank, so this is all good) was recovered in a Kansas cornfield. I had the BEST time.
My Kids have been gone for a week (dealing with family biz out of state), so I've been cleaning like a mad woman who had nothing better to do. Haven't written but one page, but it's damned good, if I do say so - lol.
Kids will be home tonight, so I can quit obsessing, worrying, stop the cleaning and get back to writing. Hopefully.
So how was your New Year?
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6 Comments:
Hi Lyn,
I went through that coddling kick a few years ago, so I have a general idea what you mean. You have the right idea though to get passed it.
Sorry about your friend, but sometimes they need a swift kick, too, just to get past their pity trip. And some hugs and help from a professional once in a while.
Hugs,
Sandy
thanks, sandy!
friend is doing much better - and I'm actually WRITING this month.
*thud*
Hey Lyn,
I'm just stopping by to say hi. I really like the idea of writing like it's your last chance. I think that's just the inspiration I needed. Thanks sweetie!!!
Hey Lyn!
I'm with you on this one. I have done the same thing in the past due to all the things going on in my life at the time. The thing is we don't have to do this just in our writing. It's our lives as well.
We are over worked and over stressed. Everything seems to get to us in some shape, form or fashion. I'm guilty of this and I'm wanting to stop the cycle. It's time to let the crap go and have fun. :)
Head up, I know you can do this!
hi, bron and misty!!! (misty, I still have an email from you that I've been meaning to reply to - lol - it's the oldest one in my stash, so you're next once I pull my head out)...
I'm trying to treat 2009 like it's not a terminal velocity problem - I don't have to barrel through like I'm speeding through space. I just want to keep focused, set a good pace, and stick with it.
we shall see, huh?
thanks for stopping by!!!!!!!
We'll talk soon! Will be looking for your email. :)
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