It's a good day...
1. When Janet sends you a new joke. (she also sent the photo to the left...story goes that a guy got this tattoo then wound up in jail *choke* betcha he was kinda popular)
2. When Merry comes home from the Middle East.
3. When you have the opportunity to write for yet another publisher.
4. When your last book is cleaning up on the reviews.
5. When it's Wednesday night, and that means spaghetti with The Kids.
6. When the landlord fixes the French doors so that they close easier (and when ya get to meet his Mrs. who likes to read)
Now...about that joke Janet sent me...
The Navy found they had too many Officers and Chiefs decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on his body. The officers got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer, who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third was a grizzled old Chief Petty Officer who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him, provided the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em", which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's penis and began to work back.
"My God!" he suddenly exclaimed. "Where are your testicles?"
The old Chief calmly replied. "Vietnam."
okay...here's another one from Janet...
The Flight Crew
The airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc . Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination."
Ed sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"
When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"
"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."
"My God," said Ed, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit."
"That's another thing sir," said the attendant. "We No Longer Call It The Cock Pit. It's now The Box Office."
And here you thought you were gonna have another boring blog about writing, awards, and please-go-buy-my-book(s). Maybe next time :) Enjoy the rest of your week!
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Happy Birthday, Rinda!
Yesterday was my friend Rinda's birthday - and I got so wrapped up in life this weekend that I neglected to do what I'd intended to do for a week...wish her a great birthday and a marvelous year ahead.
Happy Birthday, Rinda!
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So how has your weekend gone?
It's only Saturday evening here, and so far...I've discovered bulbs growing on the new place that I didn't recognize at first.
Then there are these guys. Very cheery. They like the rain we've been having.
#1 Son bought a vehicle. D-I-L-2-B and I took a walk Friday, saw this car, told him we want it, need it, that it's a good investment that would protect his baby (should they get preggers), his wife, and his mother. Saturday he bought it.
He'd no sooner pulled into the yard than we had a visitor. For a while, it looked as though the hyper little fellow might become a permanent fixture, because we scoured the neighborhood and couldn't find his owners. Then I hear a couple of teenage girls calling RILEY! RILEY!
So Riley ate a couple of Pita's treats, drank some water, pissed on the daffodils, then trotted out of our lives.
Quite a day.
I’ve been writing on my story for Ellora’s Cave’s Torrid Tarot line and found
this tarot deck that looked interesting. I think what drew me to it was that one of Da Vinci’s patrons commissioned several tarot paintings that are still in existence.
I started to cancel my interest in the line, but…somehow…it just fit, so we shall see what happens.
JUST DESSERTS IS IN PRINT NOW!!!!! WHOO-HOO!!!!!!! Feels like it’s been forever since this book debuted in e-book form. I’ve been looking forward to this all year. What this means is that I’ll be signing the book at the upcoming Romantic Times convention in Houston, end of April. I was worried for a bit that the book wouldn’t be out in time.
Bring your hankies and weep at the awesome power and beauty of birth. Dee had her twins, and the video is on her blog
HERE under “Hubby’s Art Project”.
Now I’m gonna go have a high-cholesterol meal from Sonic, watch movies with The Kids, and pretend I have a life outside of writing.
Have a nice rest-of-the-weekend, everyone.
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About La Bella Luna
I've had some terrific reviews on this book and wanted to thank those who took the time to read and review it. I got 5 harps from RoRR:
"The characters are all very well developed and the transformation in them all is amazing...All I can really say is awesome." ~ dragonflytailz with Rites of Romance Reviews
"Keeping this murder a secret is only part of Bobbie Cole’s thought-provoking novel. The three forty-something women are forced to forge remarkable bonds and discover their own strengths. There is sadness, silliness, laughter and revelation. We should all be lucky enough to gain the support and insight these Oklahoma socialites give each other. I loved the mature perspective and truly believable characters. - I highly recommend this one, especially for women past their twenties. And I am going to seek out the author’s many other titles. She is a talented storyteller." ~ Lynn Bushey with The Romance Studio - 5 hearts out of 5
Ecata Romance also reviewed La Bella Luna, but for some reason their site won't pull for me tonight. BUT...THANK YOU to all 3 reviewers for making my day with your reveiws. Thank you for taking the time and effort - it was a LONG book.
While I'm at it, THANK YOU, ANGIE - I have the most marvelous editor imaginable for my mainstream fiction. Angela James with Samhain is extraordinary.
For those who haven't heard me chat about the book, I'm posting the cover, done by the incomparable Scott Carpenter as well as the link to view more about the book.
Thanks to a marvelous critique group, this pup can hunt, as we say here. Love all of you!
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Last Minute Musings
A cheerful note from CJ - and then I got it from Janet as well...passing it on.
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.I can live with that.
You can thank Janet for being the pain in the butt who sent me the next one - a test for people who think they know everything. (Hmm...why did she send it to ME?)
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw" and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter "S."
Oh, and you expect me to post the answers? You'll have to wade through the rest of the post before you get to them. C'mon - instant gratification isn't worth it.
I took some Dr. Phil quiz on how others see you the other day (friends are marvelous creatures, aren't they? - sending things like this...when all they really have to do if they have the guts is to TELL us what they think of us or how they perceive us). I scored 48 - seems Phil got 50-something and Oprah a 38, and at the end of it, I still wasn't sure what I'd taken. The damn thing was only 10 questions, but it seemed to take forever.
Answers To Quiz: 1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends . . Boxing 2. North American landmark constantly moving backward . Niagara Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.) 3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons . . Asparagus and rhubarb. 4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside . . Strawberry. 5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. (The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season.. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.) 6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle. 7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar . . Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses. 8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh Lettuce. 9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with "s". Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
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Shenanigans
From CJ: I was re-reading a piece today and ran across this line (again). The grammar may not be quite right, but I couldn't stop chuckling anyway. I know EXACTLY what the author meant.
"I realized that my mouth was on autopilot and so just shut up while my brain had a chance to blink owlishly and stagger around looking for a gear to be in."
From Mary Ellen:
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy)
(I'm still not over the Pig shit.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour (Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumpingthe length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
From Helen: A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book. The other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
From Helen (to make up for the last one): Man goes to supermarket - told from his POV.
The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts and I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disappointed to find only a few skimpy pre-packaged portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping." Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher's voice boom over the public address system: "Will the gentleman who was looking for bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."
From Liz M:
Five tips for a woman.... 1. It is important that a man helps you around the house. 2. It is important that a man makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you. 4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you. 5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
From Liz Wolfe:
Can you solve this puzzle?
You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a drop off (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is another galloping horse. Both horses are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation?
For the answer click and drag your mouse from star to star. * Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. *
She knows me so well - lol. OF COURSE I had to try solving it.
Happy St. Patrick's Day, Everybody!
For some real treats, find Merry Stahel's blog to your right in the column of blogs I read, and check out her photos from Saudi!
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What Color Is Your Parashoot?
I've not read every single post, and I'm SLOW at cathing up, but have you been reading the posts at Monica Jackson's and Karen Scott's on where to shelve African American books? (and please fortheloveoffreakingod don't refer to anyone outside the US as AA unless they are citizens of this country. It's not a term that encompasses every person of color)
Anyway...the discussions remind me of RWA in Atlanta last year. Part of me wondered why it took RWA so damned long to recognize people like Vivian Stephens (and yes, I know I've blogged this before, somewhere
here around August 11, 2005) and why that particular year was devoted to Vivian and Shirley Hailstock, who was a terrific RWA president. Did we really have to WAIT until we were on "their turf" or in the South or where it might be EXPECTED to honor these women? Why the wait? (Okay, I'll shut up.)
Romancing the Blog, who gets literally dozens of responses to some pretty shallow questions or posts at times (and don’t get me wrong – I love these gals) only had TEN responses to their excellent post regarding both Vivian and Shirley last fall. We can find hundreds of posts on some serial killer’s website, dozens just bitching at someone who dropped their drawers in public and farted, but we can’t support the very people who were pioneers for us…and that saddens me. [I’ll probably not get five posts to THIS one – lol.]
Back to Atlanta. I make it a point at every writers’ conference to snag books for the hotel staff. Atlanta being Atlanta, we had a large number of AA on the hotel’s staff, so I visited the Kimani book signing and the Spice (since there were AA authors at both – Kimani being ALL black). I handed out the extra books I could wheedle out of authors and publishers, and I was pleased to see Gwynne Forster stopping one of the girls to whom I’d given books, and Gwynne signed hers for the girl (April was her name). I went home, found the Kimani authors’ blog, and I thought oh, good, maybe this will give them more exposure, because many of the hotel staff I’d befriended had said they didn’t even KNOW there were that many books containing AA characters.
Uh, nope. That blog didn’t even last a month after conference before it just petered out. I’d have thought that at least the AUTHORS would have supported it, but for some reason the damn thing fizzled, and…that’s sad. I came home and
blogged the Kimani authors, put up a cover or two, but…no response really. Maybe if I’d blogged on Italian characters or The Olive-Skinned Shiek’s Erotic Blonde Mistress and her Secret Baby by a Native American Cowboy…in other words, maybe just stating BLACK or African American is too simple. Who knows? At any rate, I hate to see any group of authors taking a back seat as far as marketing, but damnit, instead of just voicing the problem, somebody needs to come up with some solutions. Stop bailing out without a trace and leaving whoever started the discussion, the blog, the whatever.
While I'm rambling (I've been thinking on this, if you can't tell)...I wonder what it would take to get more non-blacks reading black authors? Maybe novellas, anthologies, collections that are 'mixed', so to speak? Would you be more inclined to read an anthology if there was a mixture of black and white authors or authors you'd read and ones you hadn't, for instance? Surely, there's a solution to the shelving problems these authors have and the lack of cross-reading that needs to be bridged.
Back to
Karen Scott’s blog now. She’s interviewing some really terrific authors and asking some tough questions (and getting them answered). Hope even if you don’t post here that you stop over at Karen’s and read the interviews.
Am including some covers of AA authors I hope you’ll read – you might be surprised at how much rather than how little you have in common with the authors and their characters.
Ciao…
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Dear Lord
I just posted a blog that took me 2 hours to complete, what with all the interuptions - and I posted it on the WRONG damn blog! - lol. I am one of a group of Ellora's Cave authors on Lust for Life, and unless I corrected that sucker, I'll have all of them hating me by tomorrow. It's difficult to piss off that many people within seconds, but if anyone could do so, it'd be moi.
I took some R&R after the class I was teaching ended...and gotta tell you that I was sorry to say goodbye for a while. We're all meeting up in 6 months for a Brag & Boast day, however, so I'll get to see who has sold what.
Thanks to Janet, I have the plane photo to offer you. When I saw this, I thought yep--been there, done you. Some days ya can't fly straight no matter what you do.
What? You want talk of writing? Thought you'd never ask.
Let’s talk about Smooth Ride by Cash Cole (my naughty male alter ego).
Reviews:
And I’m so freakin’ slow – it’s been AGES since I’ve had time to blog – that I had no idea
Karen Scott had asked about me until tonight! She’s only like one of “the” reviewers I pay attention to – lol. Of course, she’s had one of my mainstream books for several months and hasn’t reviewed it yet (which is just as well, La Bella Luna is what she should be reading instead of Just Desserts)…ANYWAY…yes, I’m alive and well. Have just been busy and had one helluva 2006.
I’m completing my second m/m book for Ellora’s Cave – no debut date because I haven’t actually turned in the completed manuscript. That kinda helps, I hear.
Hmm…oh, yes! LA BELLA LUNA!!! This book is garnering quite good reviews. My humble thanks to ALL who have reviewed this book. Too bad the darn thing probably won’t make it into bookstores. Don’t take my word for it – read the reviews. *grin*
dragonflytailz listed La Bella Luna as her Reviewer’s Pick! Here’s the review at
Rites of Romance Reviews.
ECataromance kinda liked it, too. *BIG GRIN*
And I'll end with humor from Mary Ellen and with photos of my two furry children...Pita & Chewy.
Kids writing about the sea:
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. ( Billy age 8)
6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)
13) On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7)
This is my little Pita Pie. She started her life with me as a Pita - therefore, the name. Now she's Protected In Total Adoration, and she'll never have to scrounge the streets for food again.
This handsome fellow is Chewy, another rescued animal, and the biggest sweetheart ever. He's the dog who was hit by a van before Christmas a few years ago. The vet wanted me to put him down - he wasn't even feeling deep pain, couldn't lift his head...totally paralyzed. There was something in his eyes, though...
So we got another vet.
Chewy has titanium rods in his spine and one hip, has one fairly useless leg (but it makes a good kick starter when he's running on the other 3). Other than that, he's in top shape if you don't count the poundage. Spring's upon us, though, and we've started walking both dogs again.
Just thought I'd introduce you to the two of them.
Have a great weekend, folks. Thanks for stopping by, if only to lurk.
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1. When Janet sends you a new joke. (she also sent the photo to the left...story goes that a guy got this tattoo then wound up in jail *choke* betcha he was kinda popular)
4 Comments:
Thanks for the laughs!
It was a great way to end an otherwise ho-hum crappy day.
I'm smiling!
I am so THANKFUL to be home, too!
And my puppies greeted me so incredibly happy! Whoever said, "My goal in life is to be as good a person my dog already thinks I am" wasn't kidding.
People, give thanks to be an American tonight...because let me tell ya, some of the alternatives are pretty grim.
It IS a good day!
Your posts always leave me with a smile! Thanks!!
THANKS, Beth & April. Again, Miss Merry, I missed you - it's so GOOD to have you HOME!
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