Rainy Day Recipes & Musings
Spring day, soft rain falling, everyone getting over colds from the weird weather configurations the previous month – as in 99 degrees one day, snowing the next week, then back to higher temps, cold again, then tornadoes…typical Oklahoma spring weather. The joke is: if you don’t like our weather right now…wait about 15 minutes.
The Kid’s Girlfriend likes potato soup. I’m not her mother, have no clue how her mom made this particular dish, and I’m not sure how to go about making it to her liking, but I’m gonna attempt it today. This one
looks good. Granted, it’s technically a chowder, but close enough, right? Looks good anyway:Ingredients:
· 1 pound Bacon, cut into 1/2 pieces
· 1 cup chopped onions
· 4 cups diced potatoes
· 2 cups water
· 1 teaspoon salt
· pepper to taste
· 2 cans soup (Cream of chicken or Cream of mushroom)
· 2 cups sour cream
· 3 cups milk
She and I have both been craving blueberry muffins, and I’m cheating on this one – strictly out of the box
, into the pan, into our mouths. Right now she’s at work, but I think I’ll surprise her (maybe us both – lol) when she gets home and have the soup waiting and the muffins for a snack later, since The Kid won’t be home until nearly midnight – long, long work day for him.
A bistro I used to frequent back when I was teaching college English had the most marvelous wild rice & mushroom soup – need to find a recipe for that – they also had a Wisconsin cheese soup that hit the spot.
If you’ve ever wondered how to make quick and easy pancakes that are ‘different’ while tasty, Betty Crocker mixes are wonderful as the base. Just choose what your taste buds crave:Betty Crocker® Premium muffin varieties:• Apple Streusel• Banana Nut• Cinnamon Streusel• Double Chocolate• Lemon-Poppy Seed• Twice the Blueberries• Wild Blueberry
What I do is add 2 large eggs, a cup of water, ½ cup of milk, and ¼ cup of vegetable oil. Batter up, pop into the skillet, and top with butter & your favorite syrup or top with fresh fruit & whipped crème.
I really should be writing – I have projects that demand my attention, but what I really want to do, believe it or not, is clean house – finish some unpacking from the move (I’ll be doing this for some time, I fear), mopping the bathroom tiles, and baking. TKG, aka DD to me, has my umbrella, so walking is out unless I can find my water-proof hooded jacket. Writing is still a possibility, once I get some of the other out of the way to my satisfaction. There’s the rub – ha ha.
Richard in Redeeming Richard
needs to come out of his coma, fight his way back to what for him will be an altered reality, and learn how to make love to his wife all over again. Tony & Aidan in A Near-Life Experience
need to find their happily ever after. My heroine in All Or Nothing
needs to out-fox the bad guys and find her sister. Alas, so many people in my head and so little space in the brain. And cooking is, after all, a creative venture, no?Joke of the day from Janet, while I'm thinking of it:Husband: I can't sleep without it.Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?Husband: Because I'm Hot.Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times.Husband: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.Wife: If you love me you'd be more considerate.Husband: You don't love me anymore.Wife: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.Husband: Please...come onWife: Alright, I'll do it.Husband: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?Wife: I can't find it.Husband: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!Wife: There! Are you satisfied?Husband: Oh, yes.Wife: Is it up far enough?Husband: Oh, that's good.Wife: Now go to bed and from now on when you want the window open, do it yourself.
Now...I'm ready to raid the pantry and start cooking.
What are some of your rainy day recipes that you pull out when you need comfort foods?
Retrospective 20 years ago:
When was that? 1986? Dear Lord. Single mother, precocious child who brought the Feds to my doorstep when he researched nukes and located a supposedly ‘secret’ missile base. Had 4-star generals, FBI, CIA – you name it bugging me. Seems The Kid had also decided that year to change his name, so he broke into the public school’s mainframe computer system, was honest enough not to bother changing his grades, but changed his middle name because he no longer liked his father or being named for him. All without my knowledge.
So…day #1, I get report cards for a child I don’t ‘know’. Rest of the week is a blur, but I do remember That General getting his stars and stripes in a twist, telling the boy (and yes this was the language he used) that he had some nerve, and no matter which government he worked for, they weren’t telling him shit, so stop pretending to be an elementary kid. The general said he wasn’t stupid—no American elementary student had a vocabulary to pen a letter like that and the resources to find them. Anybody see a little movie called “War Games”???
That’s when he phoned the Pentagon and God knows who else and said ‘Sic your guys on this bastard, whoever he is.’ [And this is what he called my boy when he wrote chewing him out.] They thought my son was pretty dangerous because he’d had the brass kajones to leave his return address on the envelope. I have yet to see a politician warning someone of or calling his shots, much less anyone involved in espionage - ha - especially if he's in grade school – that’s a Babe Ruth trick, not one for their ilk.
10 years ago:
A little over ten years ago, I moved out of my comfort zone from a small university town to a big bad city, gave up teaching college English for more adventurous work like repoing cars and collecting bills. Within months of my moving, Tim McVeigh bombed the Federal Building, and I happened to be downtown (was unhurt) and stayed there a few hours – set up the sheriffs' command post with a nurse while ‘The Kid’ (who was with me that day) worked triage and became ‘the errand boy’ for the General in charge of the post…which included FEMA, FBI, and others. Seems we were destined to become linked with Feds in one capacity or another. [Hmm...come to think of it, The Kid's first scholarship offers came from the CIA and West Point.] April 1996 was the 1-yr-anniversary of the bombing. We avoided the place while others went downtown to greet President Clinton, Billy Graham, and other dignitaries.
There are other photos if you wish to revist the tragedy at this link: http://www.okcbombing.org/okcphoto_gallery.htm. It took me about 2-3 years before I could go back downtown and another 2-3 before I could visit Ground Zero. Some of the police officers, county sheriffs and firemen committed suicide afterwards. It was probably 7 years before my son could even talk about what had happened...the things he'd witnessed.
As for how we wound up working the site...if you were already there, you either got carried out or you carried out, you went to the hospital, accepted counseling, or if you were okay you sucked it up and stayed to make sure those after you had what they needed. For what it's worth, few left. The crime rate was down 52% for the next 2 weeks, and even the homeless were pushing grocery carts of bottled water and sandwiches to the workers who trickled in hour by hour. OKC completely re-set the standard for FEMA response time and getting things under control quickly. I didn't relish being there, but it was unthinkable to even consider leaving.
By 11 am or so, I'd ordered and received latrines, food, beverages. [By the way, the first to offer help was Sonic Corporation - they're the ones who first sent food and drink AND helped me order the latrnies and toilet paper. Wal-Mart sent anything we asked for - flashlights, batteries, rain gear, you name it. So say what you will about big businesses, those were the first to help, and nobody we called turned us down. Literally hundreds of donations poured in within the first four hours. People lined up to donate blood. All I did was set things up, receive what came in, and send others out to deliver it all.]
By noon we had county mounties patrolling the area and just prior to that we'd received word that there were no survivors at Ground Zero, so the rest of the day was spent assembling, dispensing, battling the rain, and ignoring what was around us and within us just to get done what was needed.
I didn't visit Ground Zero, which was about 4 blocks south of me, until one of the military came up and told me to take a break...deliver coffee, rain gear and batteries, anything to get me to leave my post for a few minutes. It was like Beirut...didn't even realize where I was until I heard a creaking noise above me--shards of cement walls hanging by cables--and looked down at my feet. I was standing on about six inches of debris where a paved street had once been, and there was a 2-yr-old's show wedged between two enormous cement slabs of the wall, suspended in time like a tornado had lodged it there. I'd been standing where the day care center had been.
Think son and I got home around two in the morning. Maybe 10 yrs after the bombing we talked about that day, and come to find out it was that one shoe that had done us both in...he'd seen it as well. Scraps of children's drawings, torn clothing, other things you don't want to know about...hanging from the remnants of the building, and that was the sight that was unmoveable, unchanging, until workers cleared the entire street.
5 years ago:
My 2” thick oak garage door collapsed on me – broke my neck in 3 places and gave me fluid on the brain. Couldn’t work, became agoraphobic, and I was pretty much pissed off at God in particular and everyone else in general. Rough time until my son came to me and said look…you can’t work so you’re moving in with me, and when I’m at work, I want you sitting as long as you can, writing. I don’t care if you sell, and I don’t care what you write, but I want you writing.
That was 50+ confessions and a few magazine articles ago, plus the 9 books I mentioned. I don’t do a lot of things right, but somehow I think The Kid turned out okay.
I got online at that time, became involved in online writers’ groups, and the rest…is history. No, I'm not bitter - it was meant to be. Yes, I'm doing okay now. I just have memory problems and get dizzy if I forget and bend from the waist. Walk with a cane at times to keep me from toppling. But...I'm lucky. I've seen worse. If this was what was going on in April, it would only be another five months before 9/11.
1 year ago:
HA. One year ago this month I’d fired my agent and set forth to sell everything she’d sat on. Have sold 9 books on my own as of this month as opposed to zero with her. Sometimes revenge isn’t sweet but it’s mighty productive. Ok, it’s sweet, too. Oooh, the first mainstream debuts next month about 3 weeks after another Lyn Cash erotic romance (ack - next week?)...time flies.
I also had to make a decision…I hadn’t flown since the head injury, and I had a writers’ conference coming up that I wanted to attend. There was no way I could take Amtrak at $3500 roundtrip (not to mention a week getting there and a week getting home). I’d taken Amtrak to Dallas for a conference the previous year, but this one was to be held in Reno. Should I bail on my friends or risk flying against doctors’ orders? I decided I was much better and that my head could stand the cabin pressure if the plane was large enough. Haven’t regretted it since.
1 month ago:
I’d just returned from DC, buried one of my oldest and dearest friends, and was in a funk. Saw a house being cleaned out while walking, went inside, inquired, brought The Kid in to look at it. We moved within a few days; The Kid’s girlfriend moved in with us as well; I heard from a NY publisher that they’re considering a book of mine; and I caught a rotten cold or something that has hung in like it’s a clingy best friend that doesn’t want to leave me. I also discovered Blue Bell Ice-Cream, Banana Split, to be precise. [DO check out their recipes if you visit their website!]
Took a cab to go get groceries, got everything squared away and had just sat down when the weather got nasty. Couple of tornadoes later, we were all safe. Spoke briefly with my dad and told Poppa we were fine. Watched television for an hour (“24”, my favorite nighttime show – Keifer rules!). Then the 3 of us watched Nicole Kidman and Will Farrell in “Bewitched” and I wrote a bit while The Kid read The Da Vinci Code and The Girl went to bed.
The Real Yesterday:
Okay, so I wrote this then shelved it and came back to it, so another day has passed. YESTERDAY...I made a speciality dish of mine that we call Mama's King Ranch Chicken. Lightly grease a rectangular cake pan. Layer the following: corn chips (Doritos), chopped onion to taste, Campbell's Chicken Corn Chowder (w cans of Cream of Mushroom soup work well, too), chunks of pre-cooked chicken breast, Rotel tomatoes (drained), can of corn, slices of Velveeta cheese (we mix in some sharp cheddar), chunks of chicken. Repeat until mixture almost tops the pan. Bake 350 degrees F in oven for about 45 min to 55 min - trick is to heat thoroughly, not burn. Let cool, slice (or scoop if it's so warm that it's a tad runny). Eat. This also serves up well cold.
The Kid's Girlfriend went to cash one of her payroll checks and then to shoe shop. She brought home a new treat for me: Diet Dr Pepper with berries & crème. M-m-m. Was like drinking a chocolate truffle without the diabetic's sugar hangover or the calories.
Think we'll keep her. She really fits in well - lol.
I’m baking blueberry muffins with double the blueberries, doing some housework, sucking up my fears and digging into a WIP I’ve neglected. Also joining KOD (the romantic suspense chapter of Romance Writers of Amerida). KOD = Kiss of Death, and they have marvelous programs at the national conference, plus a Death By Chocolate party. If we can get the particulars straightened out all will be well, but their website has been screwy for a while.
Tomorrow evening (okay - tonight) I’m watching “Top Chef” then maybe a movie…”In Her Shoes” (I’m having chick flick withdrawal). If time and weather permit, I’m also planting some herbs, veggies, and flowers. We had temps of 99 degrees F' last week, down to 40-something last night, so maybe we’re in the clear for planting. Guess I’ll find out.
In the next minute I am tagging . . .
Kris (hey, paybacks are a bitch), Ann, Christine, Cece, Rinda, Tanya, Janet, and whoever feels left out. Post your snipes at me here and your Meme on your own blog so I can see it against your colors, your background, and hassle you at your place.
Tornadoes, Titles, & Thanks!
I would have been online last night to announce the winner of the Title Contest, but this fellow visited the neighborhood 2 blocks away. Oh, and he had a brother. They weren't invited - nobody I know wanted them here, even though we welcome the temperature drop from 99 to 50 today.
The first tornado tore up a wheat field, a grove of trees, and an airport before he fizzled out. The second one started the way tornadoes normally do then started spinning BACKWARDS and wore itself out before it could do much. Anyway, that's my excuse for not getting online. Was busy watching twisters and didn't want the lightening to fry my computer.
Remember the movie “Twister”
and the Jami Gertz character saying "We've got cows"??? - The wind was that fierce at times - expected any minute to see complaining, airborne cows flying by. Speaking of which…take a look at this book
about strange weather phenomena.
On to the naming-the-baby contest: I sent all of the titles submitted to my editor, and the in-house editors took a vote and chose this one: Crystal Clear Persuasion. Going by entries as they came in: One person (BD) had Crystal Clear (then another had that one, but BD beat them to it), another (Monica) had Crystal Persuasion, and then one person's entry combine the two of them - and nobody saw or heard any of the answers until it was over, including me - I pulled them at the same time and immediately sent to my editor. So, congratulations, Merry! Let me know which download you'd like.Monica, send me your physical/street address plus your favorite colors to the Milkbone Undies email addy and I'll still send you a really kewl book thong made in Australia. BD, I have your address, so give me a couple of days and I'll have yours sent. THANK YOU to all of you who entered. Like I said, I stink when it comes to titling my books. It's a wonder I did okay with naming #1 Son.
Gotta say that Rinda cracked them smooth up by summoning Olivia Newton-John with her Let's Get Metaphysical - ROFL.
IN OTHER NEWS...Tidbits from Janet
Victoria's REAL Secret
Redneck Outdoor Grill
I'll be participating in a chat come Saturday hosted by a couple of fellow Ellora's Cave authors. There will be door prizes, a scavenger hunt, excerpts (yes, naughty ones), and lots of information - go here to sign up/join this Yahoo group:firstname.lastname@example.org
As far as I know, The Promise: Stream of Time
is still on schedule with Loose Id to debut on the 3rd of May...8 days away. There is no release date, no price, nothing like that set, but last word (within the past couple of days) was that it will be released on May 3rd.
Have a great rest of the week, all. Talk to you soon.
Contest Announced: Name the New Book
You may read an excerpt if this would help you: Kinky_Kruisinemail@example.com
is the link to join my yahoo group, and there's only one file in the excerpts folder - this one.
I need a title for an erotic romance in which a rose quartz crystal
is prominent. Rose Quartz
is used for healing: Bruises, Angina, Asthma, Eyesight, Migraine and Sciatica.
Editor would like the word crystal in the title…and right now my brain isn’t firing on all pistons, so I’m running a contest. Whoever comes up with the title that the Editor likes best wins a free download of the novella once it debuts, or you can choose a free download of the current one with Ellora’s Cave called Just Desserts
that debuted March 22, 2006.
Information about the novella you’ll be naming:
Setting = New York City & St. Louis
Elements = paranormal, metaphysics, crystals, healing, comedy
Dirty words = several, but don’t let that throw you, it’s just Sensuous, not Scorching
Plot Points = City artist is sent to Missouri to meet with a new client and forge an ad campaign for his company. What she doesn't know is that her boss set up the meeting with hopes of getting her to 'loosen up', his mother is her shrink, and the talisman they've given her to play with prior to the meeting holds magical, sexual healing powers.
Titillating Title Thespians are welcome to submit their contest entries by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org
with the subject header: Title Contest 4/24/06. Contest is open from today April 21, 2006 until Monday, April 24, 2006.
Thanks for playing.
Can We Talk Now???
I am chillin' OUT the rest of today. Tuesday...sold a book. Wednesday received 1st round of edits on said book - no shit. This editor was ON the proverbial ball. Thursday, received edits on yet another book - different publisher - this was a 'big' book, too - but I stayed up until 2 am to make sure I got those edits turned in. Friday, I get notification that more edits are coming from yet another publisher...ooookay. I can do this. I am woman, hear me roar. (Take a look at the marvelous photos of lions done by Spook!)
* * *
I started my day early – phoning around for a 350 factory-rebuilt engine for an old truck, a mechanic willing to deal with the mess, and a cab so that #1 Son and his Lady could share a cab to work considering Debbie (truck) was about to shoot a rod through the oil pan.
Then I had 15 emails (by last count) from editors and such…all good…nothing bad. Did my mail, fixed coffee, forgot to eat lunch and take my meds until about 3 pm, got a letter ready for an agent, and pulled out the 4 WIPs that need my attention. Nuts, I know.Blog World Goodies
Buddy Samantha Winston posted an excerpt of her book Virtual Murder
that was QUITE good – take a look and see if this doesn’t intrigue you!
A couple of folks asked which blogs I’d done on artist Julian Beever, and they were here
Balls and Walnuts has some amazing recipes
this week – so before you run out of steam, head over to Doug’s place and drool a bit.
And with that, I’m gonna go in search of the perfect margarita. I have bigod earned it today.
In the News - the Good Stuff
My favorite sidewalk artist, Julian Beever
has been working hard on his 3-D pieces. Take a look at some of his latest works. There's the one where politicians meet their fate, the self-portrait, in which he's facing a drawing of himself, the swimmer, and the seal in the pool. I've enlarged the self-portrait, which is one of my favorites.
This man must have the best perspective eye for detail - it's just mind-boggling to me. Wish I had that quality - and wish I could apply it to my writing.
So I thought. What does
make 3-D writing? What is it that makes a story "pop" when others are flat? To quote Leslie Wainger of Harlequin, "It's all in the execution." But what does that
mean? To me, it means 3 things: perspective
(how we as the writer view something), details
(and here's where execution really comes in...not so much the LY adverbs and adjectives so much as the information itself), and delivery
(grammar, style, and voice).
Feel free to correct me if you have a better plan, but for me, that's what execution boils down to: how we view our material, the manner in which we tell the story, and the polish and finesse we use in our presentation.
Considering last evening's depressing blog, I thought I'd come up with some things that pertain to writing, but I couldn't resist a little art along with it. This cartoon that supposedly depicts evidence of global warming tickled my funny bone.
Now if you really want to go deep with me, apply all of the above to yesterday’s blog. What was it about that story that made it 'pop', made the public pay attention, have reactions (albeit negative ones)? The material was something close to many of us...a child, and the details--meaning the information itself, plus the stark/frank/candid delivery...all combined to make for a gut-wrenching moment as we read what happened. I'm not saying that it takes horror (although it's a kewl genre when we're reading fiction) to get a reaction out of a reader. I'm saying that the elements listed above apply to all genres. I can't take credit for the writers who wrote about Kevin Underwood. All I can claim are my reactions, my personal feelings.
I really hate making a point, because I'm always afraid I belabor the damn thing, but there you have it. I'm trying to make sense of what happened to Jamie Rose Bolin, and I can't, but I can make sense of how I read the words that described the events, I can analyze what made me react as a reader, and I can apply the techniques to my own writing...maybe. We shall see.
In other news, I've had a few pretty good reviews on Just Desserts. Here are some links for those who care to read them.
Thanks for sticking with me - have a great rest of the week.
In the Local News - the Bad Stuff
Sometimes it's damned difficult to be funny. I enjoy humor - I like reading it as well as writing it. And today I needed to do some serious humor writing but just couldn't.
The Kids are watching "The Chronicles of Narnia" tonight - and while I enjoyed Lewis's books, and the movie looks good, this was the last topic of discussion I had with my friend Kat before she died last month. I'd phoned her to let her know the DVD was coming out since her own child loves reading Lewis's books. Then we had some problems with next-door-neighbors and their cockroaches who decided to abandon ship and exodus to our place. Okay, insecticide sprayed, Handyman Don sick from inhaling fumes, etc...but problem hopefully handled.
Then...the capper to the day...this topic plastered all over the evening news...
Many of you know my whereabouts, and I've been asked if I know anything about the murder of the little 10-yr-old girl in Purcell, Oklahoma this past week. I don't know any more than the rest of you, but here are the links for those who wish to pursue the subject.
Don't read this next part if you have a weak stomach. The alleged killer's name is Kevin Underwood, and this is what the police discovered:Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation agents executing warrants at the apartment of Kevin Ray Underwood seized a decorative dagger, a hack saw, duct tape, meat tenderizer, barbecue skewers, a duffel bag, a computer, a wooden cutting board and a videotape about a serial killer, Tompkins said. They also found a bicycle under a bed and a mug, both of which belonged to the victim, Tompkins said.“Regarding a potential motive, this appears to have been part of a plan to kidnap a person, rape them, torture them, kill them, cut off their head, drain the body of blood, rape the corpse, eat the corpse, then dispose of the organs and bones,” Tompkins said.
This is his blog
, and as you can see if you visit it, he did indeed post the day after the child went missing. If you click on his profile, you’ll see his question and the answer he gave: If you were a cannibal, what would you wear to dinner? ~ The skin of last night's main course.
is a true crime writer, and he’s already dealing with Court TV on doing some articles on Underwood. His first blog about Underwood
(who also went by SubSpecies23) is quite chilling. Huff and his cronies are delving into the psyche of what makes a serial killer, and Underwood has given them plenty to write about. They're still tracking down all of his blogs and websites.
I'm just thankful he was captured early before another child went missing. Something like this tests the fabric of my being...and I'm not sure I could live up to the principles I've set for myself if I was alone with this man and had the means to do him harm.
I'm not even related to Jamie Rose Bolin, and already I'm ill just trying to do what is supposed to come naturally to me...be a smart ass, be funny, write, produce, create. And this is all the space I wish to devote to such a person.
As for "The Chronicles of Narnia", Roger Ebert had a marvelous review of the movie
if you care to read it. I'd forgotten that Lewis and Tolkien were buddies until I read Ebert's review. Maybe I'll warm up to the idea of watching the film at a later date. More about the books here
Somebody tell a joke or something. Hit me with politics, like why we should never have said 'okay, do what you want' to the Russians and their nukes, considering when they went bankrupt the fuckers sold everything to everyone else who offered money. Give me a good movie review, a good piece of Hollyweird gossip. Enthrall me with a Lewis-like compendium of stories that will take away the images I have in my head of a 10-yr-old girl's last moments in the hands of a killer who by all accounts was sane...just sick. Question me as to why I usually oppose the death penalty but why right now I could pull the switch myself when they execute the man who could do such a thing.
Remind me of why I write, why I make up my own characters and worlds when I can and why I read yours. Explain to me why I weep for a girl I never knew and why my heart breaks for the killer's family. I have no answers to anything but one thought...I know why I become a hermit so often. Because caring hurts.
Some Australian Heat
It's another MELTDOWN!
For those of you who enjoyed Alexis Fleming's Outback Sizzle, with Changeling Press, the follow-up to it, Outback Meltdown debuted earlier this week. This one involves a swearing Aussie parrot, an American in a fix, and the Australian female cop who'd like nothing better than to keep him shirtless and handcuffed.
by Alexis Fleming
cover art by Karen Fox
ISBN (10): 1-59596-338-3 ISBN (13): 978-1-59596-338-3
Genre(s): Humor and Satire
Length: Novella (12k - 28k words)read an excerpt
I'd also like to tease you with a book by the fabulous Cat Marsters, an English pal who writes for Changeling as well as Ellora's Cave. Here's Cat's latest with Changeling:
Sundown, Inc: What Wizards Want
by Cat Marsterscover art by Sahara Kelly
ISBN (10): 1-59596-311-1 ISBN (13): 978-1-59596-311-6
Genre(s): Paranormal, Humor and Satire, Urban Fantasy
Theme(s): Interracial, Witches, Wizards & Magic
Length: Novella (12k - 28k words)
Five Things You Never Knew About Wizards
1. You don’t need all the proper crystal ball-type props to do real magic. Although things can get kind of interesting when you improvise.
2. There is no wizard academy full of jolly thrills and spills. You get pushed in at the deep end, and only the really lucky ones get a nose plug.
3. Faeries like wizards. The same way that humans like pack mules - except we’re way kinder to pack mules.
4. We’re not immune to a shapely female form, although sadly, they’re not as available as I’d like.
5. Sometimes — just sometimes — we get things wrong. And when we do, the results can be pretty spectacular.
How many pirate queens have you freed lately?
Have a fabulous weekend, everybody. I'm planting veggies and herbs and flowers...I've been nursing a cold well over a week and am gonna try kicking it in the butt. For those on the road, be safe - enjoy the holiday (Easter is Sunday), and save me some chocolate eggs & bunnies.
Okay, okay, okay...diabetic here just got smacked by conscience. Save me some carrots.
Oooh, oooh (reminiscent of Horshack on "Welcome Back Cotter")...addendum to this blog post. I love reading astrologer Madeleine Hill, and her blog post on FENG SHUI for Spring just can’t be beat for uplifting my spirits. Give this post a look and see if you don't feel energized about doing some spiritual spring cleaning.
News About Town, Country, & City
One of my favorite cover artists is also a writer, and he has a new story out with Samhain - by all accounts it's well worth the read (and it's SHORT for those of you who like quickies *snort*). Carpenter’s home page is here
Also, available now, is a book by a friend, and Ari's book is garnering a lot of great reviews. Ari’s home page is here
Joke of the day from Janet (pronounced Ja-nette):
Converting a Bear
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first."Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. An when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
They both looke! d down a t the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start things out with my bear".Handyman Don News/Update:
Don is recovering nicely from a car wreck this weekend. He was involved in a hit and run accident and banged his head and shoulder pretty good, but is expected to recover fully. Injuries of the other driver are unknown due to the fact that they left the scene before Don could exit his vehicle. Other vehicle was a ruby red SUV of undetermined make and model.Some of you have asked about the fires in Oklahoma, I'm safe, but they've hit all around me the past few weeks. We don't so much as fart outside, though.
Personal ad of the day:
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work; wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 555-5555 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting....
Friends are so cool. Kate sent me the news that ecata had given my first Ellora’s Cave book a major 5-star kudos. You can read the review here.
And last but not least...food for thought:
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.
One wolf is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego."
"The other wolf is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
Chillin' Out 4/7/06
I spent from 3 pm yesterday until this morning nursing a miserable cold, only got out of bed if necessary and then not for long. Dreamed continuously and woke up thinking today is Saturday - well, I suppose it is SOMEWHERE, just not here. So I won't even attempt being clever this morning. Will just fish out of my 'friends' folder for some things to amuse us.
Pre-Easter goodies from friends..."The Catholic Blonde" from Mary Ellen: On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, "It's Lent." In tears, she remarked, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Who did you lend it to, and for how long?"
Click Here for the card Janet sent me.
good & evil
optical & illusion
teach & learn
Today's words of wisdom shared by Handyman Don:
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (eeewwww!!! I'm gonna keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)
Feel free to leave your own bits of useless trivia or complaints - I shall forward them to the appropriate bin.
Have a great weekend, everyone.
Lyn Cash, Bobbie Cole, Heather Rae Scott, & Alexis Fleming
It's no longer March, so here's the cover again - I can't help myself.
If you're not receiving Lady Jaided, the Ellora’s Cave Newsletter
, you're missing a treat. This is the second edition, from what I understand, and it's chock full of interesting information, such as an article on why/how there are specific pet names for genatlia, such as men's being more weapon-oriented while women's are food-oriented. I laughed so hard through the first reading that I feared I'd missed something so went back and read it again.
There's a compendium of sexual arcana, an article on culinary delights, and a write-up on their fetish of the month. Even if you don't read or write erotic romance, this colorful newsletter is entertaining. There are even articles and tips on writing .
Here's the interview they did on moi:
What you notice right away about Lyn Cash from her books and her blog is her tremendous lust for life and all the pleasures that come with it. Her first book for EC, Just Desserts, combines her passion for writing, for food, for laughter, and for, well, passion. She characterizes it as, "a comedic erotic romance about a cookbook author who can't cook, and his new editor who unwittingly commits him to a public cooking contest." The author, a sexy Cajun/Cherokee named Jackson, "has to master Cherries Jubilee and Beef Flambé with his nemesis nearby and his editor, who drives him wild with desire, right there beside him."
In addition to a damn entertaining story with plenty of sexual tension and a strong sense of place, the book offers an extra gift: Each chapter opens with a recipe that's part of the plot, from a dirty martini to an oatmeal mask. We can't wait to try Belle's Breakfast Casserole.
There was more, but that's pretty much a breakdown of the premise and a tease for the recipes. One thing that has pleased me no end is that EC has already done the legwork for me as far as sending the manuscript out for reviews...as in several of them. And I couldn't be happier with the promotion and advertising they've given me.
If you’ve considered writing for Ellora’s Cave and want further information, here are the guidelines from an article done last year (I think – it may be newer than that).
Saturday, May 6th, Samhain authors are holding an all-day (as in way into the evening) chat with readers, and you're welcome to join me. My time for chatting and posting excerpts is slotted for 10-11 am EST unless things change. I'll keep you posted. I'll have 2 mainstream novels under Bobbie Cole plus an erotic novella under Lyn Cash to promote, although the only book of mine coming out in May with Samhain is Leaving Mama. And here is the cover for that one to the right.
ADDENDUM: Scott Carpenter was the artist for Leaving Mama, The Last Thing I Expected, and A Handyman's Best Tool.
My friend Heather Rae Scott
has her first book debuting with Samhain the same month, the week before my book. I've read this one, and it is CUTE and FUNNY and a nice read. The following two books in her series are equally enjoyable.
Heather and I are part of the same online critique group, The Belfry Collective
And before I wrap this up, I have to brag on my friend Alexis Fleming
, whose last book with Samhain earned her a 5-star (out of 5) review with Romance Junkies. Alex writes hysterically funny erotic romance with her natural Aussie flair.
Alexis is another Belfry Bat - what can I say? BAT POWER!!! - lol
If any of you are interested in writing for Samhain, here is their home website
and here are their submisson guidelines
. They have been FABULOUS to work with, by the way. Very author friendly.
For those who want a great explanation and some terrific photos of leucistic animals, see Doug Hoffman’s blog
. Read his blog about how to piss off your doctor while you're over there - ha ha ha.
Oh - one more thing, from my friend Janet. WOW OH WOW - this is kewl IMO. This Wednesday at 2 minutes and 3 seconds after 1 the time and date will be: (are you ready?)01:02:03 04/ 05/ 06
Have a great week, all.
Some Weekend Silliness
It's been raining and the wolf-hound has the farts. I swear, the dog could peel paint from the walls.
Things have just been moving kinda fast - new home, new books coming out, no time to devote to any one thing in particular. So I'm taking the weekend to do more laundry (I want everything hanging up or folded and put away by Monday so that everyone can find everything they thought they'd lost or thrown away during the move). We've had sporadic meals, a hodge-podge of whatever was available to fix. So I think what happened with the wolf is that someone slipped him part of a beef enchilada the other night, and...well...Mother Nature took over.Wisdom from Don the Handyman for you weekend party-goers:THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon TTHINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:1. Specificity 2. British Constitution 3. Passive-aggressive disorder THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.2. Nope, no more beer for me.3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
Another joke from Janet:MAD WIFE DISEASE A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine. "What was that for?" he asked. "That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it," she replied. "Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained. "Oh honey, I'm sorry,"she said. "I should have known there was a good explanation. Three days later he was watching a ballgame on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to he asked, "What was that for?" She replied, "Your horse called."
And even though I 'should' save this one for autumn, ya get it now - but before you get too bent out of shape, I like my football and my Oklahoma teams. These were just funny IMO:BIG TWELVE FOOTBALL JOKES
(1) What does the average Texas player get on his SATs? ...........Drool.
(2) What do you get when you put 32 Texas Tech cheerleaders in one room? ..........A full set of teeth.
(3) How do you get a Iowa State cheerleader into your dorm room? ...........Grease her hips and push.
(4) How do you get a University of Oklahoma graduate off your porch? ......Pay him for the pizza.
(5) How do you know if a Nebraska football player has a girlfriend? ..........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup
(6) Why is the Colorado football team like a possum? ...........Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
(7) What are the longest three years of a University of Kansas football player's life? .........His freshman year.
(8) How many Missouri freshmen does it take to change a light bulb? ..........None. That's a sophomore course.
(9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco? .Manhattan, Kansas. He knew that the police would never look at KSU for a Heisman Trophy winner.
AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)
(10) Why did Oklahoma State choose orange as their team color?
...........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.
And to end this blog of silliness...this one rather touched me - it's a senior biker & his babe. But...what? No bitch bar???