Gratitude & 'Tude in General
This isn't about toilets - I just liked this one - sent by one of Lex's readers to her then forwarded to me. Maybe I'll do a series of Reader Sue's toilets...make it a Tuesday kind of thing.
Back from dentist - all went well. Got to spend some time with my friend Liz who is moving *sniff, sniff* end of summer to take a teaching position at a university in Texas. I know she'll only be two hours away, but that's too far to suit me. What if I have the burning need to talk during the day and she's in class? I know. SELFISH of me.
Have the two reviewers for
Leaving Mama (no, they didn't post to the blog but sent to Milkbone addy). If I have the nerve, I'll post them as soon as I get them. For now, a funny from Janet. [No, no wisdom from Handyman Don in a while - he took a job across town, so I haven't seen him lately.]
Seven Kinds of Sex
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway, you both say "screw you".
The 5th kind of sex is called: Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your spouse any more. They take you to court and screw you in front of everyone.
The 6th kind is called: Religious Sex This means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.
Don't forget the 7th kind of sex - Social Security Sex. You get a little each month, but not enough to live on!
My latest gift...from
Alex
My latest craving
My latest favorite blog photos
My latest favorite blog post
My latest plugs from friends - here & here
My favorite hysterically historical book covers
T0 everyone who has made me smile today...
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Leaving Mama debuts TONIGHT at 8 pm EST
...and I'm in a bit of a quandry. I don't know who reviews mainstream e-books - not erotic books but electronic ones. I have plenty of places to send my naughty tales.
That said, I've talked to my editor, and this is what we're gonna do. I'm offering a
FREE download of the book to the first two readers who offer to review the book and blog about it or post it to their website. If you don't want to leave your name here, you might email me at Milkbone Undies @ excite . com - without the spaces. First two responders will get the chance to own a copy of the book, and all I ask is that you review it...your words, not mine...I want a candid, honest to goodness review...and post it publicly.
If you don't like mainstream women's fiction, don't bother, needless to say - lol. This isn't
War and Peace; it isn't
How To Build A Robot in Two Hours; and it's certainly not
A Tale of Two Titties. It's a contemporary piece about the relationships between mothers and daughters and the lies and ties that bind us. Click
HERE for more about the book at the publisher's website. Click
HERE for an excerpt from the book.
Thanks in advance to any and all who offer. It's exciting having a 'first' book out, and that's what this one seems like, even though I have other books out under the Lyn Cash moniker. It's also nerve-wracking - lol.
The Kids will be at the movie theaters today, so I should be able to get the book(s) off to those who win the copies ASAP today. I did my bit for house-cleaning and general schlepping yesterday.
Have a great rest of the Monday holiday, all.
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Today's Politics in Simple Terms
Explaining politics to your youngster goes like this: Remember
Hurricane Katrina from last year? Well,
Bill used to live there, but he doesn’t want to go back—he wants to live in Washington, DC, where his friends live and have this club—yeah, kind of like Boy Scouts, only they use their wallets instead of Boy Scout knives to fight their way through the woods. Mommy will explain that later.
Think of you and your friends playing on the playground at McDonald’s. Bill discovered a treasure map showing him where to find the Happy Meal Maker, and after a while he had all of these hamburgers stored in his freezer…90,000 of them. Even though his friends where he used to live didn’t have any burgers, Bill kept all of them for himself, saving them for when he might get hungry later.
A man named
Vernon wanted his own freezer full of Happy Meals. Since
Brett had helped Bill find the Happy Meal Maker, Vernon asked Brett to introduce him to Bill. Bill said he’d show Vernon his secret passageway to the Happy Meal maker only if Vernon gave him something. So Vernon handed over 400,000 hamburgers of his own and then Bill told him where the Happy Meal Maker was.
Then
Alberto, who is smart but fair, figured out what Bill was doing and didn't like it. Since Alberto was more powerful and smarter than anyone else on the playground, he told Bill to hand over the Happy Meal Maker. When Bill pretended he didn’t know what Alberto was talking about, Alberto stormed up to the playground, drew a line in the sand, and said “I’ll give you 8 months to hand it over, and if you don’t, I’m taking it.” Bill didn’t believe him, so after 8 months, Alberto and his buddies
Robert and
Paul went to the playground, kicked Bill out, and told him he couldn’t come back to the playground.
Vernon was upset because the Happy Meal Maker Treasure Map didn’t work—he thought Bill had lied to him, so he told Alberto and Robert and Paul what he’d done and that he was sorry. He said he wished he’d never given those 400,000 hamburgers to Bill, because Bill just took them and led him to a broken Happy Meal Maker.
That’s when
George, the playground leader, got mad and told them all that he was locking up all the Happy Meals, the Happy Meal Maker, and sealing off the playground so that nobody else could get in for 45 days. He had been in charge of the playground a long time, and he’s the one who invited Alberto, Robert, and Paul to play there in the first place, so he was really ticked off that they did all of this without telling him about the Happy Meal Maker Treasure Hunt. George always wants in on the Treasure Hunts.
Yes, honey, that’s right—now George can destroy all of the prizes before anyone else finds them. Remind Mommy to tell you about the
Watergate Scandal some day.
Alberto, Paul, Robert,
John, and others have all decided to leave the playground, because they don’t think George makes a good playground leader. They’re probably going to throw a lot of sand in George’s face when they leave, but at least George has Bill on his side…and Dick, and
Nancy, even though she’s a bit of a dumb shit and doesn’t realize that the boys don’t want her in their club or need her.
Denny is also siding with George, but only because he doesn’t want George to discover the Happy Meals in his own freezer.
This is why it’s good to have chicken once in a while instead of burger, sweetie. They’re not always as tough as beef, but sometimes they’re much easier to swallow. And, too, some of them like
Al make interesting movies. You liked
Chicken Little and
Chicken Run, didn’t you?
I know, honey, Mommy and Daddy aren’t too fond of burgers any more either.
* * *
Yes, it's a mess, but somebody will clean it up eventually.
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Memorial Weekend Silliness
Pantyhose Quiz
Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?
A: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, and an unknown number of hares.
Poor Dave
Dave works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and asks, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her--she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Dave tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Dave, you picked up a real bitch this time."
Hope your Memorial Weekend is a safe and happy one.
Be careful if you're at the lake - you never know what might rear itself.
Redneck lawnmower. I gotsta get me one of these.
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Friends & Chats
Merry has been busy building in Missouri, and she’s blogged about it
here. I fell in love with a couple of those photos. (sigh)
I also enjoy the photo/journal she keeps at this
site. She even has a photo of her and me in front of the fireplace in my living room on Mother’s Day when she and members of her family visited me. Uh...I'm sitting down, and Merry isn't, if that tells you the difference between about 5' tall and nearly 6' tall - lol.
Author
MacKenzie McKade posted this on top 10 women’s fantasies at the EC chat earlier today:
#10 Forced sex
#9 Sex with a stranger/acquaintance
#8 Group sex
#7 Sex with another female
#6 Oral sex (receiving)
#5 Sensual and romantic sex
#4 Kinky sex (bondage, spanking etc.)
#3 Sex with more than one man
#2 Sex with a famous celebrity
#1 Sex with boyfriend/husband
How do you feel about that, ladies? Agree or disagree? I am too old, too jaded, or too pragmatic, I suppose, because my fantasy is that of
Rosie O'Donnell in “
Exit To Eden”—paint my house. CLEAN my house. Please – I’ll get off – I promise you – just somebody forget about licking my toes or putting together a threesome, unless it means 3 of you laboring, doing what I don’t want to do.
If you’ve never been to an EC author day or chat, you really should attend. Lots of excerpts, banter, jokes, sometimes a recipe or two, and all-round fun. You can join
here for free and participate next time…which will be soon…there’s always something going on! I have to confess, though, that I spend as much time ogling the photos as I do reading the excerpts. Talk about some hot, hot males at that Romantic Times convention in Dayton this past week. *fans self*
Good news for me—I finally turned in final edits on
Leaving Mama, which debuts next Tuesday.
To celebrate, I treated myself to some absolutely cheesy downtime viewing
these advertisements online. One of my favorites is still the
Charlie Sheen/Martin Sheen Visa commercial.
On other chats, the Loose Id authors will have an all-day chat on Novelspotters’ Yahoo site on Thursday, this week. You can join
here (again, free) and participate at your leisure on the 25th of May. I’ll be there between 11 & noon EST, posting excerpts from
The Promise: Stream of Time.
While I’m at it, here’s a huge
SHOUT OUT to
CATHIE M, reader, who emailed me to let me know she’d seen an excerpt at
Romance Excerpts Only, where all you see/read are excerpts – no chat, nothing but excerpts. Cathie said
Stream of Time was on her TBR list, which thrills me.
That’s it for today. I’m off to watch movies with The Kids.
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Spring Cleaning
What with harsh things on the news, political intrigue, and summer heat already getting to many people, I’ve noticed a definite shift this last week in attitudes among writers. Many are ready to shuck the winter woes and clothes, do some spring cleaning, and air their opinions on everything from whether or not writing is art to what must be done about our own concepts of ourselves. I prefer to think of it all as 'updating'.
Julie Leto was guest on Romancing the Blog a day or so ago, and her post about
Promo Whores was quite interesting. Seems many are sick to death of writers who are constantly in someone’s face begging for attention and money. [See Sunny Lyn’s own bitch session on the subject
here if you just want to waste time.] You could do much worse than to read
Julie’s blog some time if you’d like honest opinions and answers to questions on writing romance.
One of the things I love best about writing is that there’s so much to learn, and I’ve found that I rarely learn when all I hear is the sound of my own voice. Doesn’t exactly win me many friends, either.
I also enjoy the silliness at times.
Cece had trouble coming up with a title for her latest submission, and as writers are prone to do, several chimed in with their own rendition, and before anyone knew what had happened, the titles were flying.
Vanessa Jaye’s blog for last Thursday is funny, rife with the goofy type of metaphor meltdown writers need at times. Cece did eventually get a title, by the way, and not one of those proposed on this site. *grin*
Want to point you towards a fine writer of romantic suspense while I’m thinking of good books.
Tracy is funny, witty, charismatic, and I read much of her first book,
Repo Chick Blues, as it was being conceived. The heroine was someone I could hang with from the first, but when she kidnapped Buddy…the dog? I was hooked.
It's nice to see writers I've known do well. I can't help but feel great when someone with whom I've shared a laugh, a cry, research information, and cyber hugs sells that first book...and then another...
Trace is the writer who turned me onto the works of
Dennis Lehane, for which I'll always be greatful. I'd lost touch with her for a few months--my fault--life got in the way. But I recently 'found' her, not that she was lost, and I thought I'd let you know about
Repo Chick Blues.
I enjoy rifling through memory banks this time of year as well. I like spring cleaning, everything fresh and new, but it's comforting to keep pieces of the past, like some favorite patchwork quilt I use for comforting me one night and displaying as a work of art the next. It's nice to reminisce about old friends, such as
Cheryl Anne Porter, who have passed but whose lessons will remain forever. I still can't believe I won't see her when I attend an RWA function.
Regardless of what I keep as I update myself, the writing, memory banks, or the ever-present To Do lists, I rather like bringing in the new yet tucking away what and who has worked for me in the past. It's nice to be able to say that I truly enjoy those who are in my life. When I don't? Well, there's always this...(thank you
Carla for the funnies today):
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A Deelicious Feeling
Do you like the drastically improved book covers at the top of this page? If so, thank Dee – lol. She IM’d me early today and asked gently: Would you like some help with your blog? I replied by asking her: Do you THINK I need help? Things only got better from there. While we were still in an IM an hour or so later, she received a phone call. Pop over to her
blog to read all about her great news!
Dee is a member of one of my critique groups. She has a romance novel,
Betting Hearts, debuting with Samhain Publishing next month, just a couple of weeks after my first mainstream novel with them.
It's been a little over 3 years since
Merry Stahel and I formed
The Belfry Collective, at which time I think we only had 2 authors published. Seems before the end of 2006, something like nine of our authors sold--Dee was one of those. Now we are 15 strong, and 13 are published, some under two names.
Heather Rae Scott is another of our fold, and
The Last Thing I Expected, her first book with Samhain debuts NEXT WEEK!
Back to Merry, while I'm tripping down Memory Lane. Merry and I had spoken on the telephone, shared innumerable IMs and emails, but we'd never met in person until Mother's Day. Her sister Maggie had a 50th birthday, and while Merry was visiting Mags, she traveled an hour or so south, found me, and after much hugging and chattering, shopping for western clothing and petting dogs at an Oklahoma City
pet store, Merry bought all six in our group dinner at
Cattlemen’s Steakhouse. Afterwards, we all came back to my place, where Merry and I sat outside at the bistro table talking writing while her family members and mine stayed inside discussing Lord knows what else. It was one of the most memorable and marvelous Mother's Days I've spent.
Right now I'm counting the days (as in about 64 at last count) until many of us meet in Atlanta for one of the largest writers' conferences on the planet, that of
Romance Writers of America, where I'll once again share a room with
Alexis, but this time I get to meet her daughter.
Kelly will be flying up from Oz with her mother, and the three of us will spend a week or more attending seminars, swimming, shopping, and partying our bums off at places such as the
FF&P Gathering, a
KOD Death by Chocolate party, and an Oscar-worthy awards ceremony.
For the record, The Belfry Collective includes:
Alexis FlemingAnn Wesley HardinBobbie ColeBronwyn ParryCatherine BerlinChristine ZubkoDee TenorioDonica CoveyGerrie ShepardHeather Rae ScottKate RothwellKris StarrLiz WolfeLyn CashMerry StahelShara JonesSummer DevonI've had the pleasure of meeting all but 5 of these magnificent critique partners. Hopefully, some day, I can hug them all and thank them for the wonderful gifts they've given me of friendship, encouragement, butt-kicking critiques, and laughter.
Just felt like a group hug - pardon me - I'll be back to my normal bitchy self in a day or two. Until then, happy writing - may the muses be kind, and if they're not, write about their stupid arses. And do visit Dee and congratulate her. She's earned this moment in the sun.
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The real blog ho, EC guidelines, & a grin or two
Firstly, thanks to those of you who see fit to offer a few minutes of your day to say hi to me, to comment on writing, to share of your time and talent...to connect.
Secondly, I want you to know I've thought about this before just shooting off my mouth. Really thought about it. I have few gripes - life's just too short to give credence to some things. But my ass is itching over this one - an itch I've gotta scratch.
Maybe I don't understand all of the politically correct ins and outs of publishing in general or fellow writers in particular, but I do know how I feel about blatantly promoting myself on someone else's blog as a party crasher, not as a guest who wasn't invited to bring their baggage. It just ain't right, and I don't do it. If I do - puhleeze for the love of all that's holy, tell me.
People who rack up 'points' of some kind for having the most posts on their blog or who feel compelled to solicit traffic by posting their neediness on someone else's blog...well, it really chaps my ass - doesn't just make it itch. In other words, if someone comes to my 'house', say HELLO, goddamnit. Don't just walk in, use the bathroom, dump your bookmarks, and leave.
Posting on another writer's blog something to the effect of: Hey, I've just told a joke about you - come over and see, and let me know what you think of me while you're there...why not just be honest and say "I have no desire to talk to you or anyone else right now, but I'd really like for you to post on my blog so it'll look like I'm popular - even though 2/3 of the posts over there are my responses to other people."
Is it just me, or does this frost anyone else as it's obviously frosting me? Doesn't quality still rate higher than quantity in things other than M&Ms and marbles? Obviously not - never mind me.
Understand that it doesn't bother me that they're needy. Doesn't even bother me that they're pretending they give a shit about me if they visit me here. What bugs me is that it wastes my time. And now I'm wasting yours, most likely, if you really thought you'd get a warm fuzzy, a joke, cartoon, or writing information. Well, maybe you will.
The warm fuzzy is that if you're here and you and I regularly say hello to one another, read each other's drivel, and actually enjoy the company we're keeping...that's a warm fuzzy. The joke is on the dumbass who thinks they're doing anything when they visit me to say 'look at me', because I'm jaded, cranky, and skeptical to begin with - I don't look long if there's nothing to look at.
The cartoon - okay, I'll cough one up for you before you leave. As to the writing information, here's a writing tip: Spend your time cultivating friends, learning something, or offering worthwhile information to others. They'll thank you for it and might even buy your books. If nothing else, they'll respect you, speak of you fondly, and not feel bad when the door hits you in the ass on your way out.
And if you wonder to whom I'm referring, it's nobody who visits regularly - lol. The target of my rant won't even know it because she only visits when she has a new book out anyway, and we've got a few weeks or months before that happens.
I enjoy recipes - jokes - comments on reading, music, art, current events. I hope to God I'm not shallow enough to think the world only revolves around me. I like reading the blogs of others who post here - I don't go over there to say "please buy my book" or "please...I'm needing some attention today". I actually LIKE the folks at whose blogs I post a hello.
If you've read me for long, you know that I enjoy posting information about friends and their books - I post their book covers. Hell, I even post covers sometimes of people I don't care about but whose writing thrills me. Not often, but it's been done - lol.
So...next time you see a fly-by in here, 10 to 1 if you visit them, their blog is filled with nonsense about themselves. They'll make up stories, jokes, tell tales of how funny others they think they are or how deep and mysterious. So take along the boots, because the bullshit gets kinda deep at times.
I can't promise you that you'll be wild about what you read here, but it'll bigod be honest.
Rant over. Now for a real writing tip, straight from the publisher (Ellora's Cave) who said it's okay to post information to our fellow readers/writers:
We've got so many exciting things going on, people may have lost track. So here's a summary of the special series and themes and new lines for this year and next. Please note that all these are open to not-yet-EC authors, so feel free to spread the word to your author friends and to writing groups you belong to.
Fun in the Sun Quickie series – Releasing in June 2006, so if you are participating in this, you should have the story turned inalready, right?
Autumn Animalia Quickie series – Releasing September 2006. Theme is shapeshifters or a strong animal character in the story. Stories must be to your editor for review/acceptance by end of June at the latest, all editing done and final ms turned in by early August.
Wild Winter Quickie series. Releases December 2006. Theme is winter holidays. Stories to your editor by end of September, editing complete by early November.
New erotica line at EC (name tbd): We hope to launch in late 2006, and are accepting submissions now. This will be a line of erotica, not erotic romance. Basically the same sexuality level as E-rated EC stories, the same taboos. But it doesn't have to be a "romance" –doesn't need commitment or an HEA – although it certainly can have romantic elements. The focus is on the sexual relationship instead of the romantic one. Stories can be 10K to 100K.
New Traditional Regency line at Cerridwen (name tbd): Standard sweetTraditional Regencies. Story length 50-75K. Historical accuracy is very important. Only new stories, not reprints. Taking submissions now. Particularly interested in authors previously published in this genre. Planning to launch in late 2006. NOTE: We already accept Regency-set Historicals at Cerridwen, and erotic Regencies at EC.
2007 Tarot theme stories: Stories can be any EC length or genre.Must specify a Tarot card that is the "theme" of the story. For existing EC authors, submit to your editor a detailed full-story synopsis and 8-10K words. Outside submissions must be full manuscript.
2007 Ellora's Cavemen anthology series: Submissions close Sept. 30; selections will be made by Dec. 31. Any genre, 10-12K, preferably Erated, send to Martha@....
Thanks,
Raelene Gorlinsky,
PublisherEllora's Cave Publishing Inc.
As an EC author, I can tell you that I've had nothing but great feedback from my editor(s), marvelous relationships with the staff I've dealt with, a good time with fellow authors, and I've learned A LOT. The money ain't bad either. If that makes any difference.
One final THANK YOU with chocolate and roses to my friend Dee for making my flash badge, as it's called, for Leaving Mama, top of the page.
Here's your cartoon - caption reads: The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.
Thanks for letting me scratch my ass over an imperfect world. I'm happy now.
Now for something I stole from
Kris...
| You Are a Blueberry Margarita |
Honestly, there's no one quite like you. And believe it or not, most people think that's a bad thing! ~ You're open, wild, friendly, wacky, and tons of fun. You have a big personality... and a big heart. |
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Blog Ho' Today
I'm hiding out from editors and relatives - I need chocolate and hugs, but since the chocolate is bad for me and the hugs not available, I've been blog whoring today. Following are my panacea at times.
Brenda Williamson has a Romance Party goin’ on for those of you who wish to have a place to chat romance. One of the links on her site is that of
Celtic Horoscopes, which is quite interesting.
“Met” another interesting lady online,
Sally Painter, a terrific writer and generous woman of many talents. Give her website a look. I’ve already joined one of her groups.
Jordan Summers had an interesting blog on
Agent Hunting & Deer Season back on May 2nd that made a lot of sense to me, but then I find her blog interesting anyway. If you’re shopping for an agent, read this blog post and the comments.
My friend
Dee and I are posting our newest book covers at
Smart Bitches. Mine is so ‘out there’ different, and these women are so blatantly honest, that I’m almost afraid to sacrifice my wimpy ego, but…I’m sucking it up and doing it anyway. Look for the cover of
Leaving Mama some time at the end of the money or sometime in June. (I think. I’m the mushroom of the group – Dee just feeds me shit and tells me what we’re doing and that I’ll like it. God bless her for taking the initiative – I sooo hate the promotional end of the writing life. There are too many opportunities to worry: What if I do this and I look like an idiot? What if (God forbid) nobody likes the book? What if…what if…what if…?)
Now, before I send you to the last person on my list today, here's a photo Janet sent that just cracked me UP (no pun intended, considering the guy's crack). Proof that sleeping in the nude isn't always a great idea:
For my finale on this blog, I’ve had videos I’ve been sending Doug because I couldn’t make links out of the damn things, and while he couldn’t either at times, he came up with some really good ones on
this blog post. Kick off your shoes and stay a while – you’ll like ‘em.
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Tuesday Chuckles
Have some fun stuff for you today (at least they tickled me):
Evolution of Dance was sent to me by
Heather Rae – you gotta watch this.
Doug at
Balls & Walnuts had a nice little blog post about
Meat Loaf (the title will surprise you – it’s not about the dish, although one of his posters leaves a tasty-looking recipe). Anyway, the
short story is here and the meaty
video based on the short story Doug mentions.
I’ve joined the Ellora’s Cave web ring (posted at the bottom of this page) if you’d care to visit other EC authors and see their sites. The Kid is working on a new website for me, and hopefully I’ll get it up and running within the next couple of weeks and be able to list the web ring on that site as well as my blog.
Janet sent me another funny-of-the-day. I know poor Broke Back has had its share of jokes and videos, but here’s another short funny:
Some retired Louisiana deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room.
No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first deputy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different deputy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."
The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning," he said. They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him goodnight. He sat up and watched me all night long."
I’ll end with an optical illusion for the ladies – if you stare long and hard enough, you’ll eventually see the ocean…
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It's A Mystery To Me
Food &
drink stories abound today. The food story was rather funny, probably because I wasn’t the one getting tossed out on my fortune cookie, but the one about the rum?! Ack!
This story about the pickled corpse is a made-for-celluloid or cozy-paperback murder mystery. I’m sending this to my friend
Liz in hopes that she can do something with it some day. You wouldn’t think this author capable of writing cozies after you read the two books being marketed on this website, but she also has a flair for Jessica Fletcher type novels. Liz thinks in series, too, so once she does sell one, we’ll have a delicious assortment of them within months of one another.
The Chinese restaurant story spurred me to research Chinese mysteries, and if you’re a mystery writer, looks like there’s a need—no, a demand—for good mystery fiction involving that particular people. Their political arena of pre and post WWII has shown that not much mystery fiction seeped through prior and that there’s not a lot of it afterwards either. Take a look at
this article.
For a broad listing of various types of mystery, take a look at
G.J. Demko’s Landscapes of Crime. If you’re really ambitious and love mystery,
Geraldine Galentree’s October 2005 newsletter (which is online) has some excellent reviews and even a listing of conferences and conventions as the
Nancy Drew Convention – who knew?!
I have friends and acquaintances who belong to
Sisters In Crime, a writers’ organization for mystery mavens that started small and now spans the globe. I’ve never belonged, but I’ve been thinking of joining. Such fellow Oklahomans as the brilliant, talented, and wonderful speaker
Carolyn Hart are members. Lex and I recently joined
Kiss of Death, but it was a freakin’ nightmare to get our membership information straight – I just hope the rest of the year goes more smoothly than the first six weeks.
Some things have a clear connection - others don't. Here's hoping we all have just enough mystery to make our lives exciting but not enough that it becomes deadly.
Happy sleuthing for you mystery writers – happy writing for all of us. Have a good week coming up.
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4 -pm EST Samhain Chat + The Rainy Day Muse
My last night without central heat and air, and it's raining too hard for me to sit outside on the covered porch - the spring wind likes the chimes and makes them sound pretty, but it doesn't do much for my reading pleasure, and the laptop is out of the question.
Surviving without central heat and air is quite doable in Oklahoma. The dogs sweat so bad they have more body odor than we do, it’s freezing cold one day, 99 degrees the next, then back into the forties, but Okies are used to this. We expect this. It’s the guy who steps off the plane from LA or the lady from Jersey who have difficulty adjusting...and those of us without central h/a.
One week the daffodils are shakily peeking out of the ground, the redbuds are blatantly unafraid – the next, the snow has killed them all off. But wait a week. Then the tomato plants are threatening genocide because of the heat. What is it with Nature in Oklahoma? We’re not close to an ocean – the only things to surf are the corn and wheat fields. Could global warming be affecting us this strongly already? What happened to waiting for our grandchildren to inherit this shit? As the
Colbert Report announced, none of them will even know what a glacier is in a few years, anyway.
And if you haven’t watched the video of Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondents’ dinner, it’s long but worth it if you’re the slightest politically minded. What? Too Andrew Dice Clay for public consumption? Doesn’t anyone have an appreciation for irony any more, or was this too close to the truth for comfort? Here’s the
site that has the video, commentary, plus a transcript of the entire routine.
Rambling here - heat stroke? Maybe I'm giddy because the central h/a guys (Handyman Don, and two fantastic and funny brothers - Perry & Al) have been here the past two days (and are coming back tomorrow to finish...hopefully). I haven't had central h/a since Clinton was in office, if that tells you anything. I take my morning coffee & nighttime cordials on the covered porch, listening to the rain (and the dogs protesting inside because they can't go outside - can't trust 'em not to get away from me at 1st cat that crosses the yard). So this will be a new high for me - then again, maybe I'll miss the outdoors...or maybe I'll read more when I'm not computing.
There are new
poisonous frogs discovered recently in what has been described as: A cave so huge helicopters can fly into it…discovered deep in the hills of a South American jungle paradise.
We’ve got
crustaceans with fur, no less. What next? An alligator with human skin boots?
Now I know why I write romance – just watching the news is enough of a reality check to make my imagination claustrophobic.
The only alternative, of course, is to not watch it and spend that time sitting at the computer typing. But then what? I'd only blog about furry lobsters, killer frogs, and the weather when I'm procrastinating. And I am most certainly procrastinating. Have four more books coming out this year (hopefully), five that are current WIPs, and about nine on the backburners waiting for their turn. Oops.
Such is life. Happy birthday,
Kris - I'd send a case of Dr. Pepper with Berries & Creme to Canuk-land if I could. Hope you party your bum off and have lots of fun.
Alex, no more doctors, creepy-crawlies or flying creatures, KOD nightmares, rowdy guests, internet snafus, or lack of knickers - that is my collective wish for you this weekend. And I'll be kind and not post a link so everyone will know your business - ROFL. Thanks for making my entire day both yesterday and today. Love you...
Have a good weekend, everyone! ~ OH! Before I forget! [I knew there was some place I was supposed to be this weekend! - sheesh!]
Authors Alexis Fleming and Bobbie Cole will participate in an all-daychat at Samhain Publishing on Saturday, May 6. Alexis and Bobbie's slot is from 4 to 5 p.m. Eastern time, and they'll talk about their books, Bobbie Cole's Mainstream/Women's Fiction "Leaving Mama" and Alexis Fleming's Fantasy Romance "Emerald Ice".
They'll answer questions, post excerpts from these and previous releases, discuss their works in progress and other contracted books. All those who post during this hour will be entered in the draw for a grand door prize. Other snap contests will be run during the hour. Lots of goodies to take home. Don't miss out on all the fun! To participate in the chat, you must be a member of the SamhainPublishing group. To join, send a blank e-mail to:
samhaincafe-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Hope to see you there!
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The Promise: Stream of Time
Yes, it's that time again. I have a book hitting e-world within a few hours that I sold last year to Loose Id. This is my 1st time travel to write, and I had a lot of fun with it. I wanted realism mixed with fantasy, so my heroine is a real smart ass, one who isn't a swooning, fainting damsel in distress but one who grabs her time jump with the same disbelief, bite me attitude I think that I would.
The Promise 1: Stream of Time
Genre: Erotic Time Travel
Publisher: Loose Id, LLC
Series: The Promise
Length: Novel
He’s traveled through time and space to find her, convinced that she can help him save the Pharaoh. Granted, she’s used to tanning salons instead of Egypt’s summer heat, plus she swears, smokes, and has a penchant for Gucci handbags, but there’s a certain charm about the woman stepping into the role of Pharaoh’s daughter.
Her royal husband hates them both, and there’s a dwarf determined to kill them, but love is always dangerous, especially when you’re caught up in the stream of time.
Read an excerpt
here.
ISBN: 978-1-59632-235-6
Lyn Cash – author
April Martinez – artist
$4.99 – price of novel
Buy the book
here.
When we discussed a title for this work, I'd been reading poems by Robert Frost, and the first title I wanted was one that someone else had already used. Then my editor, Sherri, came up with this poem - we both liked it, so the 1st novel in the series was clearly: Stream of Time. Here is the poem:
THE MASTER SPEED
No speed of wind or water rushing by
But you have speed far greater. You can climb
Back up a stream of radiance to the sky,
And back through history up the stream of time.
And you were given this swiftness, not for haste
Nor chiefly that you may go where you will,
But in the rush of everything to waste,
That you may have the power of standing still--
Off any still or moving thing you say.
Two such as you with such a master speed
Cannot be parted nor be swept away
From one another once you are agreed
That life is only life forevermore
Together wing to wing and oar to oar.
* * *
CONTEST TIME:
Guess...choose the title for book # 2 or book # 3,
one you think we've already chosen (we have)...
and you'll win a copy of Stream of Time.
Winner to be chosen with the first correct answer.
Pick both answers, and I'll name a character after you in Book #2.
Post your answers on here on the blog.
* * *
GOOD LUCK!
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Back from dentist - all went well. Got to spend some time with my friend Liz who is moving *sniff, sniff* end of summer to take a teaching position at a university in Texas. I know she'll only be two hours away, but that's too far to suit me. What if I have the burning need to talk during the day and she's in class? I know. SELFISH of me.
1 Comments:
Leaving Momma looks like a hoot!!!!
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